HeadCase
by Skydv8501
Summary: Jane is injured on a call, when she wakes up her entire life is changed including being divorced from Maura. She was always a respected and decorated detective, but now shes hated by almost everyone. Follow and find out the answers along with Jane. Rated M
1. Chapter 1

I claim no ownership of these characters, or john Lennon quote. I do however claim ownership of this plot line.

I am new to the fanfiction world please excuse any faux pas i may make.  
The story is slightly AU in that i am not sticking to the exact history of these characters.

Chapter 1

The more I see, the less I know for sure.

Stop and look around you,hear the sounds, take in the smell.  
Now ask yourself are they real. Why do you say yes, because your mind says so. Perception is defined as the act of apprehending by means of the senses or of the mind. So what if what you see, feel,  
and hear are a complex deception made up by your mind, are these things still real?

"Morning Jane" Korsak greeted his former partner noting there was no response indicating it wasnt that good of a morning for the detective.

"Frankie where are we with the location of O'Malley's warehouse"

Uh good morning to you too" Frankie had been working tiredly on the O'Malley case they all had. Everyone knew how much was riding on this case. If the team didn't find Shane O'Malley soon Doyle's men would burn down the city to get to him.

"Sorry guys its been a rough few weeks for all of us, I'm..I'm just frustrated."

"We all are Janie, but we have to stay positive. We'll find him."

Korsak looked on intrigued by the situation there were only two people in this world who could calm jane down with a look and a few words.  
Her brother Frankie and Maura. He was always astonished to see the big bad Jane Rizzoli taken down a few pegs by the M.E. he knew why of course he just wished they would figure it out soon.

"I GOT IT" yelled Frankie. "I found the warehouse"

"Korsak can you get a warrant"

"Sure Jane, but we better head out there while i try, don't want him getting tipped off"

"Good thinking, Frankie send the address to my phone"

"Already done. lets go"

The ride to the warehouse was quiet each considering the consequences of not getting O'Malley, also the danger in getting him. Shane O'Malley killed a made man in Paddy Doyle's Gang in an effort to impress the Finn's an opposing sec of the Irish mafia. This had the opposite effect,  
a bounty was placed on his head to make amends by the Finn's. Paddy men gave them forty eight hours to bring him in our they would handle it and handle them as well for the great offense committed by one of their's. Shane managed to elude them all causing chaos in Boston. BPD made it their number one priority to find Shane and put an end to fighting.

"Were do we have an eta on SWAT and the warrant"

"Fifteen minutes on SWAT, and I just got the warrant from judge Bragdon"

"OK well we can't wait for SWAT, we gotta move know. Stay together"

Jane, Korsak, And Frankie moved towards the warehouse it was rundown.  
Glass broken all over the ground, signs of squatters, and rusting metal.  
The team moved quietly through the warehouse, knowing that Shane or anyone else could be aware of their presence. They came up on an area where there was two large rooms one to the right and one to the left as well as stairs leading up to a catwalk that exited into another room. Jane signaled for Korsak To go to the right, Frankie to the left, and she would take the stairs.

As Jane began her accent she noticed how the stairs moved slightly under her feet. She moved slowly but methodically. This was the part of the job she loved the rush of emotions that came with the apprehension of suspects. Fear racing the excitement, an adrenaline surge out weighing caution, and the steady drumming of her heartbeat leading her on like a warriors chant.

Jane saw a shadow moving just beyond the entrance to the room,"guys I got movement up here" Jane whispered in her radio. As she began to turn and inspect the rest of the room she heard the steps of another just moments before she was knocked off her feet. She struggled with Shane trying to gain the upper hand. Her gun was no longer in sight the room was only dimly light by her flashlight on the ground, making finding it

impossible. Jane managed to get her leg in between her and Shane pushing up knocking him on the ground. Shane bolted for the catwalk trying to escape. Jane tackled him and in doing so she could feel the catwalk sway underneath them. Just as Frankie came into view at the top of the stairs Jane felt the unmistakable feeling of falling.

The catwalk went through the roof of one of the lower rooms landing Jane on top of debris and Shane. Jane made a feeble attempt to get up but the room began to spin and her legs gave out she could just make out Korsak and Frankie's voice before everything went black.

Beep...Beep... Jane slowly began to open her eyes letting out a groan in the process "uhhh wh..where am I" Jane tried to move her head to get a better look but was immediately stopped by a pain in her neck. " what the fuck"Jane groaned out. Just as she was about to hit the call button she heard the door to her room opening.

"Hi Detective Rizzoli my name is doctor Pen, yes before you ask like the writing instrument." the doctor gave a slight chuckle. At seeing that his patient was not in a laughing mood the doctor cleared his throat and started again." yes well as I said I'm doctor Pen. You were in a serious accident at work, do you remember?"

"Yes I was in a struggle with a suspect when the catwalk we were on fell"

"That's good that your memory is intact, you have quite the concussion."

" Do I have any other injuries?"

"Actually you were quite lucky the other patients body softened the blow for you, besides the concussion just a bunch of bumps and bruises or B.B's as I like to call them" again the doctor began to chuckle "

Jane rolled her eyes "Cute, but how bout you tell me when I can get out of here"

"Well you should stay overnight than if your vitals are still stable you can go home tomorrow morning. So for now is there anything I can get for you?"

"no...no thanks can you just send my family in" Jane noticed the doctor looking at her with pity in his eyes.

The doctor looked down and began to fiddle with the chart in his hands "uh according to the chart there is no one waiting to see you." he offered a smile than told Jane he would check on her in the morning.

"What the fuck is going on, where is everyone." Jane grabbed the phone to call her ma just as panic was starting to set in Angela picked up.

"Hello" "Ma where are you why aren't you here at the hospital, I mean I know this is getting to be a habit of mine these hospital visits but its not like you to not be here"

"Wow you must of really hit your head hard if your calling me, come on Jane what did you expect. You would just go off on your own again get hurt and I would come running to be by your side just like that after what you've done."

" Ma what..what are you talking about what did I do. I don't understand" Jane could feel the tears starting to run down her cheeks.

"Jane I have to go the kids need me, get some rest Janie you sound like you need it" Angela hung up without waiting for a response. Jane was utterly confused and scared maybe her concussion was worse than the doctors thought. Never in her life has her ma not been by her side when she was sick or hurt. She sounded so angry and there was so little resemblance of the mother she knew. Jane could feel herself begin hyperventilating. the monitor's alarms began to go off. Nurses and doctors rushed in, she felt as though she was in a tunnel and it was closing in all around her the voices began to become more distant till once again it all went black.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N First thank you to all for reading and following my little story here. I will update every Sun and sometimes on fri. Please Leave a comment  
I would love the feedback. Again I dont own the characters just the plot, hope you enjoy!**

**Chapter 2**

"Jane can you hear me, jane open your eyes."

Jane couldn't make out who was calling her name, the voice sounded as if it was being spoken underwater. There was a bright light shining in her eyes as well making it impossible to see the persons face. Soon the voice began to get clearer and the light went away proving to her what she feared most, she was still in the hospital and the conversation she had with her mother was not a dream more like a nightmare.

"hmm...what time is it?"  
Jane asked groggy

"It's five A.M. You had what appeared to be a panic attack causing you to pass out,  
do you remember?" asked Dr. Pen

Jane cleared her throat, "I was having a conversation with my mother"

" Ah I too have an over bearing mother, but I have always been jealous of the bond mothers and daughters have its its so... complex very interesting stuff.  
Did you know that researchers have found that despite conflicts and complicated emotions, the mother daughter bond is so strong that 80 to 90 percent of women at midlife report good relationships with their mothers."  
Oh my god really is this happening right now, Jane thought while Dr. Pen was going on. Jane began to clear her throat and fidget in her bed trying to hold on to what little patience she had at the moment.

"So mothers still mother and daughters still seek mom's approval late in life"  
Dr. Pen stood with a satisfied look on his face as if he just completely enlightened someone who was other wise oblivious and who wanted his insight. Little did he know that he was talking to the least interested person he will ever meet. in fact the only time Jane ever listened to someone spitting out facts at random when she could care less was Maura and that was only because Jane had a special bond with her, one that neither could explain, or wanted to anyway.

"Uhh That was very informative but how about we skip my personal life for now and move on to my physical well being seeing as you are a doctor and not a sociologist ok." Jane knew she was harsh with him but she was scared, confused, and, tired. She just wanted to get out of there and get some answers.

"I'd like to be released doc"

"I'm sorry Jane but we need to keep you another night for observation you"

Jane cut the doctor off " No No that's not gonna work for me i need to leave now and unless you have some legit reason to hold me here against my will I'm leaving"

A stare down issued Jane had to give the doctor credit for someone who seemed quite passive he had the guilt stare down down pact. but as good as he was she would always be more stubborn and win every time. The doctor finally relented but not before giving some big speech about how the risks of leaving AMA where all on her and that in no way was the hospital responsible for anything that may happen to her or someone else as result of her leaving. He had hoped it would scare her into staying but again stubborn beats guilt and scare tactics every time.

Jane had gotten dressed and had a visit from her nurses to discontinue her I.V and still no word on the doc with the discharge papers. Jane began to get anxious as she got up and headed to the door to see what was taking so long the doctor walked in. " Hey doc did you think if you stalled long enough I'd pass out again and have to stay"

"Jane, I'm sorry to say that we called every number we have on file for you and no one will come for you. I'm sorry" The doctor truly looked sorry she could tell he took no pleasure in this fact.

"wh..what do you mean NO one, not one person, Maura, Frankie, Ma, not even Tommy."

The doctor began to look thru his papers " I'm sorry Jane, I don't see a Tommy here, would you like to give me his number and ill call"

"no no that's fine ill just call my partner at work he'll come for me"

"Ok let me know when you arrange something and I'll have a nurse bring in your discharge papers, Jane I'm going to give you a prescription for pain medicine please take it you are making the horrible decision to leave here please don't decide to let your body ride out the pain. being in the kind of pain you will be in can do more harm than good in a lot of ways."

The doctor walked out leaving a very confused and hurt Jane behind. How could no one want to come get her what did she do that was so wrong to make them all treat her so badly. Before she could find out first she had to get out of the hospital and that would require a ride. Jane tried calling Korsak, it rang for what seemed like forever.  
she contemplate letting it ring longer but decided against it, instead calling a taxi.  
when the nurse came in with her discharge papers and prescription Jane felt both elated to be going home and terrified to find out the answers to the many questions she had.

Jane was wheeled outside to her waiting taxi. " Where to."

Jane gave the driver her address than sat back with a loud sigh. " Rough night lady?"  
Jane turned her head to look out the window contemplating what answer to give she could go her usual sarcastic route but if she was completely honest she had no idea how to answer that. What do you say to a complete stranger who asks how the most confusing, fearful night of your life went. Jane turned her head looking at the drivers reflection in the rear view mirror.

"The worst so far."

"No offense but it shows, you look like you could use a few days sleep."

"Gee thanks,how bout you just drive." Jane looked back out the window hoping to god all she needed to resolve this god awful feeling in the pit of her stomach was some sleep. Truth was though that she knew something was amiss, not even after she broke her great aunt's antique serving dish at her cousins communion dinner did she hear her mother talk to her with such disdain. All Jane wanted was answers but she was also afraid of what those answers might be. Had her mother some how found out about her attraction for women, that would explain her tone. Jane had always feared this type of reaction if she where to find out, religious beliefs out weigh motherly love yet again. That didn't explain everyone else"s behavior, when had they ever not only refused to come get her but also check on her at the hospital. Nothing made sense nothing, she had to find answers and quick.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N SORRY for the delay i wanted to post two chapters this time. I knew if i left you with another cliffhanger you would all revolt :) I'm gonna try to post two chapters at a time, hopefully making the story flow better. Once again please leave a comment I have only written one story before, so any feedback would be appreciated. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy.**

**Chapter 3**

Jane was awaken by the blaring sound of her alarm clock, "fuck off" she growled while slamming her hand on the clock trying in vain to shut it off. After five too many attempts she finally got it to shut off. Just being off wasn't good enough though she bolted upright and threw the alarm clock across the room, hitting her bedroom wall and breaking in two. Jane lay in her bed breathing hard wondering where that aggression came from. Yeah she's not a morning person, but she's never been that mad but for some reason when the alarm wouldn't shut off she was filled with an unwarranted amount of anger.

Sitting up so quickly brought on more nausea from her splitting headache. The doctor had warned her about the pain but she never could have imagined this level of pain. Jane had every intention of heading straight to her mothers after a quick shower but while in the bathroom she couldn't get the room to stop spinning than the nausea and severe head pain came on. She barely made it to her bedroom before she fell down on the bed and passed out.

Jane woke late afternoon, she was in the worst pain she had ever experienced. Worse than her self-inflicted gunshot wound, but she never filled the prescription for pain medicine so there was nothing to help take the pain away. Usually she would be o.k with that but Right now though she desperately needed something. Jane decided to call Maura for help

Jane dialed Maura's number, after the fourth ring it picked up.

"Hey Maur I... " Jane stated right after what she thought was Maura answering her phone but it was just her voice mail.

" I'm not available at the moment please leave a detailed message and your number and I will return your message as soon as possible thank you and have a nice day." Beep...

" Jeez Maur where are you? The hospital said you wouldn't come get me and now you won't answer my call! I'm really freaking out here, I don't know what I did but it seems everyone could care less about me. Look please just call me back, please I really need to talk to yo.." The voice mail cut her off

" Fuck" Jane was beginning to feel as though she was going to pass out or vomit or both but she knew she had to get in touch with someone so that she could get her meds. The pain was so bad that they were the only thing that mattered, she decided to try Korsak again.

" Hello"

" Korsak,thank God it's Jane" she let out a huge sigh thankful that she had gotten through to him.

" Jane how are you? I went by the hospital this morning and they said you just left, AMA too. You sure that was wise considering how bad a spill you took?"

" I had to get out of there Korsak, I had to see my mother and get some answers. Listen I really need a favor right now"

" Sure Janie, what is it?"

Jane started to tear up at hearing a familiar voice and having him seem to want to talk to her unlike everyone else in her life right now. She explained to him how she had a concussion and needed pain pills. He agreed to come get the prescription and fill it for her. Jane told him she would leave the prescription in an envelope taped to her door and that she needed it right away.

Forty minutes later Korsak was back at Jane's. She opened the door and just held her hand out for the medicine. Korsak handed the pill bottle to her frowning at the unusual state his old partner was in.

" Jane, you sure your ok."

" Shhhh talk quieter" Jane said as she fumbled to get the bottle of pills open. She poured a couple into her hand and swallowed them quickly, a small smile appeared on her face knowing that soon relief was to come. Korsak stood in Jane's kitchen staring at the disheveled woman in front if him. Jane had a Red Sox t-shirt on, patriots shorts and two different socks. Plus sunglasses and hair that was only three parts in a full pony tail.

" So Jane why'd you leave the hospital cause where I'm standing you should still be there."

" Korsak I really would love to talk to you I would, in fact I need to talk to you but would you mind waiting here while I lay down and as soon as the pills kick in we can talk"

" Sure Jane sure ill be right here when you wake up"

Jane could feel the heat of the sun on her face, she opened one eye wanting to see if she was still sensitive to light. Thankfully she was not, slowly she sat up  
noting that her head didn't hurt as much and the nausea was gone as well. Smiling to her self she began to stretch, stoping immediately as pain shot through her back. She forgot the part of the doctors speech about feeling sore in new places as the days go on. Jane groaned as she swung her legs off the bed, sitting on the edge of the bed. She slowly moved different parts of her body trying to assess the damage, noting that besides the soreness in her back and neck she was no worse for the wear. Jane looked to her alarm clock to check the time but was immediately struck with the memory of her anger this morning.  
Jane grabbed a couple more pills from the medicine bottle and washed them down with water. She was thankful that Korsak left them there for her knowing she would be in need of them. While Jane began to walk into her kitchen she was hit with a wonderful smell, a smell that made her stomach growl and mouth water. As she rounded the corner she saw Korsak standing by the stove stirring a pot of what she could only assume was soup.

"Good evening Jane" Korsak said with a chuckle not even turning away from the pot he was stirring.

"What time is it? I feel like I have been asleep for days."

Korsak turned frowning at the appearance of the woman in front of him. She was pale, bruised, and looked to be scared. Of what he wasn't sure but figured it had something to do with the fact that her actions have led to her now being alone. He made a promise to her long ago that he would never abandon her no matter what she did or said. So here he was standing in Jane's kitchen making the woman something to eat after he sat by her bedside making sure she was o.k. When Korsak arrived on the scene he was sure they were going to tell him Jane was dead. He wasn't all that surprised though when he heard she was alive, only Jane could fall 30 feet through a roof and walk away. As mad as he was for her insubordination his fear for her safety came first, which is why he was standing in her kitchen playing nurse.

"It's seven-thirty, I made soup are you hungry?"

"I am actually, thanks I really appreciate everything you have done for me so far Korsak."

"No problem Jane, here sit let me get you a bowl of soup and we can talk"

"I'd really like that, thanks"

Korsak served Jane a bowl of soup and crackers. After she finished eating he sat next to her letting out a big sigh. "Jane what were you thinking going to that warehouse all alone even after i specifically said not too."

Jane's moth dropped open and her brows creased, why was this happening no one was making any sense. It's as if she woke up in a parallel universe. Jane began to feel nausea again and all she wanted was this nightmare to be over.

"Korsak what are you talking about you and Frankie were with me, you got the warrant."

"Jane Frankie and I were back at the precinct when we got word of what you did. Plus i havent been in the field in years not since I got promoted to Captain you know that"

Jane stood from her chair and began to pace back and forth running her hands through her unruly locks. " Korsak your not making any sense your not our captain you're not, and you were there YOU WERE THERE" Jane yelled pointing at Korsak.

"Jane calm down please, I think we need to call the doctor."

"I don't need a doctor Korsak I need to know why everyone around me is different. My ma treated me like shit when i called her from the hospital, Maura wont answer my calls, and now you. What the Fuck is going on!"

"Jane there's no way Maura is going to answer your calls, I mean you haven't been on the best terms since your divorce."

Jane's face went pale and her legs began to give out on her, korsak grabbed her and guided her down to the couch. Jane just stared blankly out the can't be she thought Maura and I we..we married I no no this cant be. Jane turned and looked at Korsak as if she had just said that all out loud. "Jane I really think you need to see the doctor something is not right." 

"Yeah...we...I need to go I need to see the doctor. Korsak will you come with me"

"Of course Kiddo, of course."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Jane waited (some what patiently considering the circumstances) for the doctor. korsak stepped out a while ago stating he need to call the station. just as jane was about to hit the call button the door opened and a man walked in.

"Hi Jane I'm Dr. Sebastian a neurologist that Dr. Penn asked to consult on your case. i can see from your chart that you had a pretty severe concussion a couple days ago and you left the hospital AMA does that sound right?"

"Yeah that sounds right it's everything else that's wrong."

" Yes Dr. Penn told me that you were having some memory problems."

" Memory problems.. no this is more than memory problems doc. It's as if I've been transported to another dimension, my life is not my own anymore. Nothing is the same..nothing is"  
Jane began to cry she wrapped her arms around herself trying to find comfort somewhere she had never felt this lost before.

"It's going to be Ok Jane I will find out whats going on with you I promise."  
The doctor looked to see if Jane would acknowledge his statement and she did she gave him a slight head nod than laid down on her side pulling her legs up to her. As the doctor left Korsak entered the room

"Jane are you alright?...what happened?... was that the doctor?...Jane talk to me please."

" That was the doctor, he said there gonna try to help." Jane continued to lay on her side not making eye contact with Korsak. She continued to cry.

Korsak pulled a chair up to Janes bed and just sat quietly while jane cried herself to sleep he wanted her to know that she had someone there for her that wasnt going to leave she had enough people who walked away in her life granted she deserved it most times but he knew the other side of jane the side that was rarely shown to anyone anymore. he has always viewed jane as a daughter and like any good father he was not going to abandon her when she needed him the most no matter what.

Some time later Jane woke up she laid there for a while just staring at the ceiling thinking that maybe it was all a really really bad nightmare. Frankie, Ma and every one else was going to walk into the door any minute. She began to rub her eyes when she hears the door open and the sound she has heard a million times before but this time it sounds like heaven to her. Heels walking towards her, she lowered her hands and turned her head towards the door eyeing her best friend and just the person she's been wanting to see the most.

"Maura thank god your here I had the nastiest nightmare, I was hurt on a call and when I woke everything was different. Not just a little either like very different we were even married."

"We aren't married Jane"

"Thank Go.."

"Not anymore that is"

"Wait what...did you just say...that we...you and me.."

"Hm well they told me your memory was gone but I didn't really believe them"

"No Maura this has nothing to do with my memory this has everything to do with reality! We... were never married we're best friends your with Ian I'm with Casey. Maura please"

Maura had tears falling down her cheeks. It broke her heart to hear this woman who she had cared for so much deny one of the most important events in her life their marriage a bond she thought would be forever. It also infuriated her to hear Jane talk as if their bond as flawed as it had become was non existent. How dare she drive another stake in her heart what game was she playing at.

" Jane, I'm only here because Korsak begged me and I wanted to see if what he said was true. But other than that I'd rather have nothing to do with you."

Jane looked as if Maura's words had just slapped her across the face. New tears began to form, she sat completely still for just a second not sure what to say in response to the spiteful words Maura had just spoken. Jane decided she needed to be the same height as Maura so to speak when having this conversation. She needed to know why or what went so horribly wrong in their relationship that Maura could talk to her with such disdain. As Jane was trying to stand her step faltered and she almost fell to the ground but Maura out of instinct grabbed under her arms and held her up. as Jane looked into Maura's eyes she was instantly hit with what could only be described as a flashback.

_"Maura all I'm saying is black is black you don't need ten shoes in black it's not gonna look any different." Jane closed the door to their home after Maura made sure to glare at Jane as she walked by._

_"Jane it most definitely matters you have your sling-backs, slipons, peep-toe, and don't forget about your personal favorite the stiletto." Maura said the last part in a very seductive voice. She knew Jane loved Maura's legs, she always paid special attention to them anytime they were intimate._

_Jane walked over to Maura wrapping her arms around her. " Hmmm I sure do They have helped tone the sexiest legs I've ever seen."She slowly lowered her head to Maura's ear gently running her tongue around her ear lobe. " There even sexier when there wrapped around my waist while I'm fucking you!"_

_Maura"s breath hitched and her legs became weak jane picked her up placing her hands under Maura's ass. Maura in turn wrapped her legs around Jane's waist sliding her hands around Jane's neck gently taking her lower lip in between her teeth, after letting go she spoke into a kiss " Like this or like this." She said as she tightened her grip with her legs pushing her further into Jane._

_"mmmm we Have way to many clothes on, lets go upstairs and take everything off."_

_"Everything." _

_"The shoes stay"_

_Maura let out a sultry laugh "I knew you loved my shoes."_

Jane looked as if she was pushed backwards, "wha...what I "

"Jane are you o.k whats going on." Maura looked generally worried she had never seen Jane so pale, frightened, and her heart was racing. Maura helped jane back into bed and pressed the call button demanding a doctor come right away. Jane was now crying and holding onto Maura's hand begging her not to leave.  
As angry as Maura was with jane she still loved the woman and she could not leave her in such a state.

"I'm not going anywhere Jane, I'm not going anywhere."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Thank you for the feedback i really enjoy reading all your comments. I definitely take everything you say into consideration. SteltZ I implemented the change you suggested and it worked wonderfully, thank you! Thank you to all the other reviewers as well! I am going to use a lot of medical terms in chapter 5, please let me know if i should just use layman's terms.**

**Chapter 5**

Maura watched the doctors and nurses trying to stabilize Jane. After she got Jane in bed everything went downhill. Jane became tachycardic and had difficulty breathing. Maura paced finding it increasingly difficult to not demand the doctors stop and explain why this was happening. All Korsak said was that Jane was hurt bad and is having memory problems, he said nothing of cardiac issues. One of the doctors walked over to Maura, "Hi Ms..."

"Mrs. Rizzoli"

"My apologies, Mrs. Rizzoli does Jane have any anxiety issues or history of panic attacks?"

" No never, why is that whats happening now a panic attack?"

"We're not sure, Jane had two episodes similar to this one in her earlier hospital stay.  
We just sedated her which will keep her calm while we try to figure out whats happening.  
With this new onset of symptoms and her complaint of severe headache, I'm going to order a CT scan for her so we can determine if her symptoms are due to a brain bleed."

" Uhm.. so you don think she has just a concussion now, She may have a brain bleed. Why wasnt a CT scan done before, I hope I don't have to tell you how bad a delay in diagnosis of a brain hemorrhage can be. Who is the doctor in charge?"

" I'm am very well aware of the impact delay in diagnosis can have, I'm Dr. Becher Head of Neurosurgery and you are?"

"Dr. Rizzoli the chief medical examiner of the common wealth of Massachusetts, maiden name Isles as in the isles foundation, one of this hospitals biggest benefactors."

The doctor stepped back as if he had just been pushed back by the words that just came out of Maura's mouth. He looked around quickly trying to determine if any one else just saw his smack down. His face was turning red with no doubt the anger he was feeling at being one up'd by a woman no less.

"Well Dr. Rizzoli, I looked at her chart earlier and noted that Jane refused all diagnostic testing."

"Ugh this woman, I...I just ooh she makes me so mad. What did they do the first time she was here?"

"They gave her I.V hydration, oxygen, and sent her home with a prescription for pain meds before she signed out AMA. I'm meeting with the treating doctor later today."

Maura shook her head and walked over to the window embarrassed that she was so short with Dr. Becher. I mean why should she stand up for a woman who obviously had no regard for her own health. She should have known better. Jane never could understand the importance of taking care of her health, or not taking chances with her life. She could be so infuriating sometimes, hell most of the time. Maura turned to look at Jane. A small smile pulled at her lips, but there were the times that Jane showed her that she could be the most loving partner in the world. That was the person she was here for, that was the woman she loved.

"I'm sorry about my outburst doctor its hard to see a loved one in this position. Please forgive me, I'm sure you will do your best to help Jane."

"It's perfectly understandable, all is forgiven Mrs. Rizzoli."

"Please call me Maura."

Dr. Becher gave Maura a small smile. "Maura we are going to do our best to help Jane you have my word. Now if you'll excuse me"

Maura wrapped her arms around her self trying to get some comfort from the storm that was brewing inside. She was so conflicted, she wanted to walk out and never look back. But then when she looked at Jane lying in the bed looking small and vulnerable she couldn't get her feet to move. She was madly in love with this woman for 8 years before it all went down hill. Jane kept putting herself in danger, everything came before their family.

Maura and Jane had been secretly in love with each other for two years, dating for one, and married for five years before their divorce. Maura had also given birth to twins, Isabella and Jack. They were four years old. Both of the twins absolutely adored Jane who they called Ma. The divorce was hard on them; kids didn't understand why there ma and mommy did't live together anymore, why mommy and ma fight, or why they can't stay with ma forever.  
Their were a lot of harsh words thrown Maura's way. On a intellectual level she under stood that they didn't mean it, but it still stung when she heard her children talk to her with such disdain.

Maura made her way to Janes' bed. She gently moved a strand of Jane's hair out of her face.  
Jane looked at peace. She wished that she could be at peace right now. Her hand slowly made its way down her face, around her chin, and on to her lips. She traced each one remembering how they felt and tasted. Maura bent over stopping just short of Jane's lips, fighting an internal battle whether or not to kiss her or walk away. Maura closed the distance and was just about to kiss Jane when she felt Jane's warm breath and heard her raspy voice.

"Please don't"


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Sorry for the late update I had my daughter's birthday yesterday and by the end of it I was too tired to finish up the story and post. That was poor planning on my part. Hope you enjoy.**

**Chapter 6**

Maura opened her eyes, and back up just enough to see that Jane's eyes were still closed.  
she stood up now with a clear head she understood that it was wrong to take advantage of Jane's unconscious state. She was not ready for what was next though.

"Please don't go Casey please"

Jane was having a nightmare and so was Maura. Maura always wondered if Jane was having an affair when their marriage began to crumble. Casey though, why Casey, she thought. Of all the people, that made the fact of adultery ten times worse. They were to be married before Jane and Maura came to terms with their feelings for each other. This was what brought Maura out of here feelings for Jane of the past, Jane of the present she hated. She had walked to the door with her hand on the handle when she thought of her kids, Jack and Bella. They would want her to stay; they would want her to look after their mother. So she stayed for them, and only them was what she told herself as she huffed and sat on the chair near Jane's bed.

Tears began to fill Maura's eyes, she fought them back. Maura made a promise to herself that she would never cry over Jane Rizolli again, " I will not cry for you, I will not let you hurt me again." she whispered softly.

Jane felt the pain in her head before she even opened her eyes. As she slowly opened one eye after the other she remembered she was back in the hospital. She took a deep Breathe trying to fight off the nausea that was now present. After a couple deep breaths and no relief, Jane decided to press the nurses button. The nurse's voice came loudly over the speaker, making Jane cringe. " What can I get you"

"I have a splitting headache and nausea, can I get something please."

"We'll be right in."

"I don't believe I've ever heard you request medicine before" Maura said

Jane jumped at the sound of Maura's voice, she had thought she was alone. She placed her hand on her mouth as this made her nausea even worse. "Geez Maura you trying to give me a heart attack."

"If I wanted to kill you Jane; I would have, a long time ago." Maura said while staring blankly at Jane. Maura had stayed for her kids but by no means was she happy about it.

"Okay...uhm you stayed, thanks. Although from the looks of it you aren't here willingly."

Maura stood and walked up to Jane's bed looking her straight in the eyes, " I'm not."

Jane stared back her eyes were squinted trying to figure were this hostility was coming from. " Why are you here than, and why the change. I recall you holding my hand and saying; saying with a much more positive attitude that you weren't going anywhere. what happened?"

"You were talking in your sleep, you called out for Casey."

"Why wouldn't I call out for him he's my boyfriend?"

Maura thought her legs were going to give out on her, she turned as not to give Jane the satisfaction of seeing her cry. But instead of walking out she was filled with anger and wanted answers. She felt as though she deserved them, and she was not leaving without them. " Did you have the decency to wait till after we were divorced to start a relationship with Casey, or is he the reason you started pulling away?"

"Divorced; what... Maura please you have to believe me when I tell you that two days ago I left to search for a suspect, there was an accident and when I woke up there was all this stuff that didn't make sense. Two days ago I was dating Casey and you were dating Ian I don't remember any marriage; please Maur; I can keep saying this till you believe me cause it's the truth!"

Maura's eyes closed and her head dropped she hadn't heard that nick name in months it brought back so many memories, good memories. which was to blame for her hesitancy in leaving. She should leave, she wanted to leave, but she couldn't. Maura could say Jane is a lot of things but never a liar. For some reason Jane truly believed that they had never been married. Maura knew a way to absolutely tell if she was being truthful, the kids.  
Maura decided that if she could deny her kids that Jane had no memory of them. The Jane she knew could never deny her children no matter what, and if that was the case than she would stay.

She had to stay and find out the answers, for their kids and for their history as wives and friends. Maura lifted her head and after a big breath she asked, "what am I supposed to tell Jack and Bella?".

"Who are they and why should I care?" Jane stared at Maura with true confusion. She honestly had no idea who Jack and Bella where.

Maura sat down on the chair quite hard actually. She was floored by this new information Jane had no memory of their life together. What was she supposed to do, either there is a brain bleed and the memory loss could be permanent or there was an outcome to scary to even think about.  
Maura cleared her throat "I believe you Jane." Maura said in a whisper

"Did you say you believe me, cause I've been going out of mind here, and if I could get just one person to validate what I'm saying, well that would be wonderful right now"

Maura contemplated this new information and wondered how much she should share with jane. Maura didn't want to scare Jane but spending five years married she knew Jane would want to know everything. She moved her chair as close to the bed as she could get and grabbed Jane's hand.

"Jane sweetie it appears that the last six years of your life has been wiped from your memory.  
You dated Casey, and I Ian before we began dating."

"Maura we're best friends we...we don't like each other that way, we just don't"

"Jane, be honest with yourself you've never felt more, ever."

Jane just stared straight ahead wondering why this was the time she was confronted with this, when she had nowhere to go. she knew she felt something more of a friendship for Maura, but that was to scary of a proposition what would her mother think what would the guys at work say. Scarier yet what if it didn't work out and she lost her best friend, all of this added up and it was a no brainer she was to marry Casey. He was safe, he wasn't complicated.

"I know what your thinking Jane."

"You couldn't possibly."

"You're afraid of what your mother,and the guys you work with will think. Youre petrified of what will happen if our relationship does not work. and even though you feel more for me than Casey, He is the safe choice. Am I close?"

Jane's jaw dropped, it was as if Maura was in Jane's head. How could she know all that.  
she closed her mouth and turned her head once again, closing her eyes. She wished over and over again she was still on the bottom of that dirty warehouse floor and this was all some sick dream her subconscious was making up. She finally looked back at Maura and asked " okay answer this for me than if we were so in love that I'd risk everything for a life with you why aren't we still together? And why are you here?"

Maura looked down at her hands that were on her lap. this was it her chance to let it all out, but where to start. How do you tell a woman with no memory of  
their life together how much she hurt you, how she made you feel so little, and hurt their children in the process. How do you do that, she had no idea. She could answer her other question though she knew exactly why she was there. Maura looked back up at Jane. taking a deep breath in the process.

"Korsak called and said you were hurt bad, so I came. He said your memory of the last six years was gone so I came. I wanted to be here for the Jane I once loved with all my heart, the woman I would have died for. And I am here Jane, I'm here because you can't remember the bad and I envy you for it."

"Trust me when I say this is no picnic"

"I'm not sure what eating outside has to do with anything, but you are definitely in the enviable position of being able to start all over again. Without all the pain that came with the demise of our relationship."

Jane rolled her eyes. "I can't stand this hatred I feel coming from you, Maur please tell me what I can do to fix us?"

Just as Maura was going to answer the nurse walked in with some medicine for Jane. Jane gave an apologetic look to Maura sensing they were bout to get somewhere.

"Jane I'm your nurse for the evening my name is Laura, anything you need just ask for me. I'm going to give you Reglan for your nausea and some morphine for your headache both will make you very sleepy. Anything else I can get you?"

"No thanks"

"Okay I'll check on you later."

Maura knew Jane would be asleep soon so she decided not to continue with their discussion any further at the moment. " Jane I need to get home to the kids  
I'll come by tomorrow."

"You promise, Maura as fucked up as everything is now you have to believe me when I say, that I want to fix it. I want to figure out whats going on, and fix us." Jane said with a sad smile.

" I wish I could believe that Jane, but time will tell." Maura said as she gathered her purse and walked out with tears in her eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N A lot of reviewers have mentioned how sad this story is. It will get lighter I promise but right now its essential to the story to tell it in the manner it is. I promise you though this story has a happy ending, and of course Rizzles all the way. So fear not I have no intention of leaving you all in a puddle of tears :)**

**Chapter 7**

_"mmm... you...know...I...could...get...used...to...this, Jane said as she kissed her way down Maura's body. Right before she made her move to continue on the lower half of her body, Maura ran her hands in Jane's hair pulling her up so they were eye to eye._

_"You mean, Frost doesn't greet you the same way!" Maura said with a smirk._

_"eww Maura why..." Jane was cut off by Maura's mouth on hers._

_Their tongues danced along each others mouth, with a mixture of moans coming from both. Just as Jane began to slide her hand down Maura's breast slick with sweat, Maura slid her leg between Jane's and flipped her over. Maura straddled Jane rocking back and forth on her center. She placed her hands on both Jane's breasts licking her lips with anticipation Jane began to moan, Maura knew it wouldn't take much longer; after their morning of love-making they were both ready for more. " Jane I'm...going...too.."_

_"I'm...there...come... with me love...come"_

Jane bolted upright in bed breathing heavy and sweating. " What the fuck was that?"

Jane looked around the room wondering if she was alone, or had someone witnessed her being startled. She wondered what that was; it definitely wasn't a dream, it was too vivid. She felt every touch, tasted Maura's skin, and felt every emotion in that room. That was impossible though, right? There's no way that could be a memory. Jane had never kissed Maura, let alone do..that with her. But Oh god, that was amazing! Even more amazing was that she wanted to do it again. Jane placed her hand over her mouth as if she had been speaking out loud. She began to laugh at the absurdity of the situation, or just the fact that she was probably going crazy.

Jane's cell phone rang, she didn't recognize the number. " Detective Rizzoli"

" Since when do you answer my calls so formal?"

" Since when did you change your number?" Jane was blushing at the sound of Maura's voice and the memory of her writhing in pleasure flashing in her mind.

"Jane my number has been changed since we sold the house and I moved, remember?"

"Should I even say that I don't recall anything anymore?"

Maura mentally slapped herself for talking to Jane as if everything was normal. She just couldn't get used to this Jane. She had gotten used to fighting and treating Jane with little respect. She was having a hard time acting as though things were good between them. After she left last night she cried uncontrollably, having Jane not want her was one thing but to have her have no memory at all of their marriage was like a knife to the heart.

"Sorry Jane, This is going to take time on my part."

"That's okay. I would be just as confused as you if the situation was reversed."

"Have they scheduled your CT scan yet?"

"Yes, it's for one o'clock"

There was a pause. Maura wasn't sure how to ask Jane if she could be there. She wasn't sure how Jane felt about her after their conversations yesterday. Maura decided to just be as straight forward as always. " Jane would you mind if I came by today to hear the results?"

"Not at all, I would like that actually!"

"Okay I'll just get ready and head over... is there anything you need?" Maura had no idea where that came from she was telling herself it is the polite thing to do, but in reality she knew she did it because she cares.

"Uh can you contact my mother for me she wont answer my calls."

"I'll try Jane; I will, but she hasn't been real receptive to anything that has to do with you. Sorry"

Jane's eyes filled with tears, never in her life had she not been with her mother while she was sick or injured. She ended the call with Maura quickly so as not to let Maura hear her cry. Things seemed to be more confusing now than they were three days ago. She could only hope and pray that the tests today had answers for her.

Maura arrived at the hospital shortly before Jane's CT scan was scheduled. She didn't want there to be any awkward moments of silence, she still was unsure of the whole situation. Before entering Jane's room she took a couple of deep breaths, than told her self it's just jane, it's just Jane.

"Jane... Jane are you here?" Maura knocked on the bathroom, there was no answer. Unless Jane was hiding under the bed waiting to scare her Jane wasn't here. Maura asked one of the nurses her whereabouts, and she was told she went for x-ray's. Maura sat down by the window and waited.

Jane was wheeled in to her room about ten minutes later. She was wearing a jonny and hospital issued pants. Jane looked tired and pale, neither could boud well for her diagnosis Maura thought. The orderly tried to help Jane into bed and she waved him away warning not to treat her as an invalid. Maura had to giggle at this. she stood up and waited for Jane to get settled before she talked.

"So it seems there's one thing that's the same in your mind or mine, you still hate hospitals."

Jane laughed which brought a smile to Maura's face. " They treat you like your dying in here, I could walk but _no_ they make me ride around the hospital in that fucking wheel chair. Oh damn, sorry no swearing" Jane put her hands up in surrender.

Maura Laughed as this reminded her so much of their early days, the banter back and forth its one of the things she missed the most.

"Why did you need to have X-ray's I thought it was just your brain they with concerned with?"

"I've been having pain in my side they think I might have broken some of my ribs."

"Which you would of known about if you had stayed in the hospital the first time."

Jane glared at Maura she didn't want to fight seeing as her and Korsak seem to be the only people talking to her at the moment, but why did she have to be so condescending. " Please don't start I felt fine at the time and I needed to find out why no one would come for me or worse yet why my ma wouldn't even talk to me. That was more important than my health."

"Everything is always more important than your health" Just as Jane was about to interject Maura held her hand up and said what Jane was thinking.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that it was uncalled for."

"No It's okay I believe I do put others before my self, but that's just because I care for you all so much that I forget how you all feel when I don't take care of myself."

Maura began to play with a loose string on the bed sheet. " I wish you could have said that six months ago Jane, maybe things would be different."

After an awkward silence Maura cleared her throat. " So Korsak said you were hurt on the job but he didn't say how."

Jane told the story of how she was injured to Maura, she listened intently. For a while Maura sat there confused not knowing how to approach jane with the fact that her entire recounting of the incident was unlikely to have happened that way seeing as Frankie is on vacation so there was no way he could have been on that call with her.

"Jane I know this is getting to be a bit redundant, but everything you remember is incorrect there's no way Frankie was there with you he's in Italy. He has been for six days now. I'm sorry sweetie but as Korsak tells it you went there on your own, against his orders."

"That's impossible Maura he was there Korsak was there I swear to you!"

"Jane I know you believe that the warehouse incident happened as you say. I know you believe that the entire last six years hasn't happened I really do, but that's why your here something is preventing you from remembering the truth."

" I don't believe that Maura; I don't, how could something feel so real and be wrong huh, How?"

"I don't have the answer for that. Lets just wait and see what the tests say okay"

Jane looked ahead not wanting to cry but was helpless to do anything about it. She put her head in her hands and sobbed. Maura walked over to her bed and sat down on the edge, she grabbed one of Jane's hands puling it away from her face. They both stared at each other for a bit, until Maura took Jane in her arms and held her as she cried. Maura began to cry as well, she hadn't held Jane or felt her touch in eight months. It felt good to be that close to the woman she still loved and would always love no matter what.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N Hi folks some news I will be on vacation for a couple weeks so this chapter will be the last for a couple weeks at least. I tried to take that into consideration when I wrote this chapter, making it long and substantial. I read all your reviews and appreciate them. Many of you want to know whats going on with Jane, that will be answered this chapter. Stephed101 your question will be answered here, hopefully. Also I have to apoligize I had two Draft's for this story-one Frankie is in town and the second he's on vacation so chap 3 Korsak says hes here and chap 7 Maura says Frankie is on vaca sorry sorry sorry. For the record he's on vaca. This will be another sad one but I promise it will get better.  
**

**Chapter 8**

Maura paced back and forth in Jane's room. the orderlies took her down to the CT scan about two hours ago. Maura had a hundred things running through her mind, but the number one was how good it felt to be in Jane's arms once again. She didn't want it to feel good, she wished she hated it. Ever since their divorce Maura wished for one more touch, one more kiss,  
just one more of more. Now that it was here, she wasn't sure how to feel about their embrace.  
As good as it felt to hold each other again, there was no way it could provide the closure Maura needed seeing as Jane had no recollection of their divorce, or the events that caused the divorce.

Right now though, she just needed to know what the results of the tests were. Then she could proceed with her quest for answers. One of the many other things on her mind was how to get Angela to come to the hospital. Even though Maura was a forensic pathologist, she was well aware of the many things that could cause memory loss and personality changes, and none were good.  
She knew Angela would never forgive herself if she missed out on being there for her daughter if her greatest fears came true.

Angela hadn't talked more than a handful of words to Jane since right before the divorce. Not only did she take the divorce very hard, but they had an awful fight that Angela never got over.  
Jane had said some horrible things to her mother, things that she had to regret as they were so awful. They still loved each other though; Maura knew that to be true, she just had to get the two of them to admit that. Maura decided to "put on her big girl panties" as Jane would say and call Angela.

"Hello..."

"Hello Angela. It's Maura."

"Maura where are you calling me from?"

"Angela I'm calling from the hospital...Hello, Angela, are you there?"

"Why would you go there; you don't owe her anything! If your calling to get me to come there, your out of your mind sweetie. There's nothing you or her could say."

"Angela, it's worse than a concussion...please just...at least leave your phone on. She is having a CT scan done right now, I will call with the results."

"How much worse Maura like is she, is she gonna..."

Maura interrupted Angela not wanting her to panic. " No Angela, no, she's just, well she's not herself and there trying to figure out why."

"Not herself! What does that mean?"

"Jane does not remember being married to me, the twins, or anything else over the last six years.  
She also believes Frankie was with her on the call she received her injuries on."

" Are you sure she's not running a scam on you; I mean how do you not remember the last six years of your life?"

"It's not that she doesn't have any memories of the last six years, it's just as if they never even happened for her yet." Maura sighed and sat down.

"You think she's telling the truth...don't you?"

"Angela, I have no reason to believe otherwise." Maura stared out the window hoping she was right;  
as this conversation was now bringing doubt into her mind. There was a pause and a sigh on the other end.

"Maura, you know my daughter better than anyone, if you say she has no memory, I'll trust you.  
I'll keep my phone on too."

Maura's eyes began to water; it meant so much to have her say that. She told Angela she would call as soon as there was something to report. After hanging up the phone, Maura stood up and began to pace again, but not for long. The door swung open and Jane was wheeled in on a stretcher, followed by doctors and nurses.

"What happened?" Maura said as she moved out of the way to allow the staff to get Jane into bed.

"While Jane was in the CT scanner, she had an apparent seizure." One of the doctors said.

"A seizure wh..why? She was she was fine when they came to get her, what happened?"

"Jane was doing fine, even sat on the scanner table herself. Than approximately five minutes into the test she began to have a seizure. We had to sedate her to get the seizing to stop, so she's going to be out of it for a while." The doctor replied.

"Where is Dr. Becher?"

"He will be in shortly, he can explain everything in greater detail. If you need anything till than please don't hesitate to have Laura call." The doctor turned and left before Maura could ask any further questions.

The rest of the nurses left after getting Jane situated on a monitor and oxygen, she also had some I.V. fluids running. Maura wiped at the tear that was running down her cheek. Things are getting worse, she thought. I can't do this, she said to herself as she grabbed her purse and walked out of the room. Maura made it just pass the nurses office and into the stairwell before she collapsed and began to quietly sob. She held her hand over her mouth trying not to let others hear her crying. Maura heard the door one level up in the stairwell open up, she stood up quickly and tried to wipe the tears away. Nurse Laura came bounding down the stairs, almost running into Maura.

"Oh shit, Oh my god, Mrs. Rizzoli sorry. I'm so sorry...are you okay."

"Yes, yes. No actually I'm not, I'm just" Maura took in a big breath of air, shaking her head.

"I just got paged about Jane... why aren't you in the room? Did something happen?"

Maura continued to wipe at the tears flowing furiously from her eyes. She didn't know what to say, she didn't know why she was hiding out in a stairwell sobbing instead of being inside Jane's room. Was it the surge of emotions she felt at losing Jane or was she happy to be over with it. To be able to move on with her life finally, to be able to stop hoping and pining for a relationship with a woman who has made it clear many times that there would never be one again. Well that would be relieving... and heartbreaking. She looked straight at nurse Laura seeing the care in her eyes the worry in her face, she knew what she was going to do.

"We should go, Jane needs us."

"Lets go."

Maura and Laura walked back to Jane's room. Jane was beginning to wake up but was very drugged and confused. Laura giggled at the slurred words coming out of Jane's mouth.

"MMMaura so so beautiful i i llllove...you! Like really reallyyyyy love you!" Jane put her arms out silently asking for Maura to step into them.

Maura had to laugh herself at the absurdity of the situation, here she was weighing her hate and love for a woman who was now after everything, professing her love. Maura moved closer and pushed Jane's arms down with little resistance. She gave Jane a gentle smile and rubbed her arms.

"How are you feeling sweetie? Do you know what happened?"

"I...I feel sore, you are so beautiful!"

Maura continued to stare at Jane; she began to allow herself to feel the love coming from Jane. Maura wanted to believe it was real, that it was genuine.

"Mauraaaa, ccan I tell something to you?"

"Yes Jane, you may."

"One day, I Jane am gonna marry you Maura. I'm gonna marry you, you'll see."

Maura began to tear up again but she smiled. " You are?"

Jane reached up and wiped a tear from Maura's eye. "Yes, I am."

Maura grabbed Jane's hand and kissed it than placed it on her cheek. " I think I would like that very much."

Jane pumped her other fist in the air and smiled broadly. " Yesss!"

Maura laughed what felt like her first real laugh in months. She enjoyed having this Jane back even if it was due to drugs. Jane had become very off-putting the final months of their marriage. She was that way with most everyone for much longer, but with her she hadn't become distant till it was apparent their relationship was over. Maura remembered the day it came to an end.

_"No, you don't get to just walk away, not with out some answers. I'm tired of walking on eggshells with you; I'm your wife, not some suspect you can intimidate." Maura said as she followed behind Jane. They were having another fight about Jane's whereabouts. Jane has been home late for the past two weeks always using excuses or threats to get out of answering any questions. Tonight Maura had had enough, she was going to find out what was going on no matter the cost. The answer couldn't be any worse than what she was thinking any way. For the past five months their marriage has been rocky to say the least, with every month getting worse. It began with fighting over taking extra shifts, than putting herself in harms way. The next month it would be too many secrets and forgetting dates with her or the kids. So on and so forth, but tonight, Jane not only forgot to pick the kids up from preschool, but she also came home late after repeated denied calls placed by Maura. It was too much for anyone, but for a woman who felt like she lost her best friend, it was unbearable._

_"Maura please, I said I was sorry already. What do you want me to do; I'm a homicide detective. Sometimes we work late and don't get to pick our kids up. It happens, please get over it already. I'm tired, I've had a long day and i just want to sleep."_

_Maura slammed both hands down on the kitchen island " **GET OVER IT, GET OVER IT! IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY**?"_

_"Stop yelling the kids are asleep."_

_"That's lovely, where was that concern for your children this afternoon?"_

_Jane walked closer to Maura and with her finger pointed at her she said "don't you dare ever question my caring for our children, ever again!"_

_Maura stepped even closer causing Jane's finger to touch her chest. "Or what?"_

_Jane stared at Maura, both seething, untill Jane relented and backed up running her hands thru her hair. She took a couple of big breaths before turning around to face Maura once again. "What do you want me to say Maura? What do I have to say to not fight with you because this fighting is getting real old. I'm tired of it; I know you are, so please just tell me what to do."_

_Maura began to cry and as she wiped at the tears now falling down her cheeks she said "I want you to quit."_

_"Quit what, quit fighting, what?"_

_"Your job, if you would like to stay married to me, I need you to quit the BPD."_

That was the greatest regret Maura had, giving Jane a ultimatum. It ruined her marriage; she bluffed and Jane called it. Looking back, she wished she went about it all differently, but also doesn't know how she could have at that point. Jane hadn't left her with many choices, it was her job or her family. It had become clear that Jane couldn't balance both any longer. In giving Jane the ultimatum though, it caused her to not only lose a wife, but a best friend as well. After the divorce and the weeks up to it their conversations were limited to the kids and bills.

Just as Maura was pondering the past Dr. Becher walked in. "Dr. Rizzloi, Jane."

Maura stood up and held onto Jane's hand preparing for news of her condition. "Dr. Becher."

"Hey doc"

"Jane, how are you feeling?"

"I'm good doc, real good. I think they gave me something!"

"Yes Jane, they did. You had a seizure in the scanner and we had to give you some ativan to get the seizure to stop. You may feel a little, well, high for a lack of a better word for a bit. Do you have any questions?"

Jane laughed "Doc, all I have is questions!"

"Yes, well I will be answering some of those for you right now. The CT scan showed a lesion on the frontal lobe of your brain.

"Tumor or abscess?" Maura asked with not much feeling in her tone.

"We're not sure at this time if its an abscess or a tumor. Also, if it is a tumor we won't know whether its benign or malignant untill we do further testing."

"When will you do this testing?"

"I have ordered an MRI tomorrow morning, and I'm going to have them come and get some more blood for testing tonight. Jane do you have any questions?"

Jane looked between Maura and the doctor, reading their faces to tell how bad it really was. She knew a tumor was never good but she had no idea what an abscess would do to her. She decided to defer to Maura for understanding. "I would like you to tell Maura all the specifics, no dumbing anything down doc."

Maura shook her head for him to continue on.

"What we know now is the lesion measures -+approximately 3x4 cm, without rim enhancement, and is not fluid filled."

Maura stood there for a moment looking straight past the doctor. Than she took a deep breath and looked back at him. "So it looks like a tumor than?"

"I'm afraid so, I can not tell you definitely whether it is begin or malignant till we do a biopsy. Given her mental status changes, severe headache, and seizure today though we are going to treat this as a malignant tumor for right now."

"Thank you doc, I guess that answers my only question, 'when will i be getting out?' and it sounds like the answer is not for a while."

"Yes you will be staying with us for a while longer Jane. Anything else I could answer?"

"No thanks."

Maura just nodded to the doctor. She was too stunned by the information he just gave them to speak. It felt as though her legs were going to give out, so she sat down in the chair next to Jane's bed all the while still holding Jane's hand. She smiled at Jane not wanting to scare her, but it was Jane who spoke the truth first.

"So I don't have to be your kinda smart to know that was bad news."

Maura stroked Jane's hand clearing her throat that now felt dry. "I'm afraid so sweetie."

"Don't cry Maur, it will be okay. None of this is real anyway." Jane said as she became very sleepy and began to close her eyes but still smiling.

"I wish that to be the truth, love." Maura whispered as she kissed Jane's hand and laid her head down on the edge of Jane's bed. Crying herself to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N Thank you for your reviews and PM's I really appreciate them. Seeing as I haven't had a chance to update in a couple of weeks I am going to try to post a few chapters this week, I hope you enjoy!**

**Chapter 9**

Jane could feel the sun on her face and wished she had closed the curtains before she went to bed. One more hour of sleep is all she wanted, but seeing as she was now up and felt as though her head had been...her head. It all came back to her, she now remembered the bad news they received last night. They, her and Maura, was Maura still here? Jane cracked her eyes open than slammed them shut when the light caused a sharp pain behind her eyes. Jane could feel a pressure on her right hand and recalled Maura holding her hand last night. She knew it was still her, she could smell the honey-blond, she smelled like love, safety, and home.

Jane squeezed Maura's hand ever so gentle not wanting to wake her up, but needing to feel closer. She reveled in the peace of the moment, if it weren't for the pain in her head it would be a beautiful moment. Jane wanted the Maura she remembered back, the one who didn't have a look in her eyes that said a piece of her soul was missing. One thing she could never accept though was that she is the cause for Maura's pain. Jane had known she was in love with Maura since the Doyle shooting. Jane had never been so scared of loosing someone as she had been than. Every day without Maura was like having to experience the worst day of your life over and over in slow motion. That's when she knew that she didn't just love Maura, but was in love with Maura.

Jane could not Fathom finally getting over all her insecurities and fears than having Maura return her feelings to only end up divorced. Nothing made sense about this situation. She would never let go of Maura, she was her eternal love, her endgame, her life. Jane began to shed the tears that had built in her eyes over the profound sadness she was feeling.

" Jane are you in pain, why are you crying?" Nurse Laura asked as she walked in the room.

Jane motioned to the blinds with her left hand and whispered " Too bright".

Nurse Laura took in Maura's sleeping form and make quick yet quite work out of closing the blinds. She walked to the left side of Jane and whispered " Jane how are you feeling and how bad on a scale of one thru ten?"

"Massive head pain, eight." She replied.

"Okay I'll get you something for the pain hold tight."

Maura began to wake up sensing the commotion in the room she looked up at Jane who's eyes were now slightly opened and smiled "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. How are you? that position couldn't have been good on your back and neck."

" Don't deflect Jane" Maura said as she glared at Jane.

" I have a headache, Laura is getting me something." Jane noticed Maura slowly standing up and stretching with a wince in her eyes. Jane chuckled softly.

"Whats funny?" Maura asked

"Talk about deflecting" Jane said with a grin.

Maura smiled back at Jane " Yes well I'm not the one in the hospital bed."

"You should go home get some real rest, I'll call if anything happens."

"No, No I'm not leaving. I need to find out what the plan for today is, Doctor Becher should be in soon." Maura said as she straightened out her clothing.

Jane stared at Maura than noticed that their hands were still intertwined. Jane took a deep breath and decided it was time to talk about all the hurt that Maura claims she caused. " Why are you here, why would you put yourself through all this for a woman who broke you?"

Maura let go of Jane's Hand and cleared her throat walking to the window grabbing her purse by the chair. " I have some phone calls I need to make, I shouldn't be long."

"Answer me...please."

"I don't have one Jane." Maura answered a little more forcefully than she intended. "I...I don't have one. I just know that I have to be here. I couldn't, I wouldn't forgive myself if something were to happen and.." She trailed off choking up and having to turn away so Jane would not see the tears forming.

"Maura look at me...Please look at me"

Maura turned around slowly, wiping at the tears that were rolling down her cheeks. She looked at Jane with so much sadness that Jane would never be able to forget that look as long as she lived. Jane took in a deep breath and held her hand out hoping that Maura would take it. Maura walked closer to the bed and slowly lifted her hand up placing it in Jane's. Their fingers intertwined and Jane stroked Maura's Hand with her thumb.

"Maura I can't remember all the things I did and said, to fill you with so much sorrow. I'm sorry but I can't, But I will apologize to you till I have no more breath in my body, If that will make things right." Jane said with such sincerity and tears in her eyes.

Maura smiled and grabbed on to Jane's with her other hand "It would be a great place to start."

Jane laughed and for a moment was able to forget about the pain that was building in her head. Maura had that great ability to take away all that ailed Jane. Just as she was about to continue on with their conversation nurse Laura and an unknown nurse walked in Jane let out a small growl of frustration.

"Be nice Jane" Maura said as she smiled at the nurses knowing full well what the growl was for.

Laura introduced the daytime nurse to Jane and administered her medicine thru her I.V she advised Jane that she would become tired very soon. As they were taking their leave. Maura noted that Jane's vitals were starting to stabilize again they had risen no doubt due to her pain level. She decided to give Jane some time to rest, after all it did no one any good to just sit and watch her sleep.

" Jane I'm going to make some phone calls than maybe get something to eat. Rest up I'll be back." She said as she picked up Jane's hand and kissed it.

"That sounds good... I'm thinking I'm gonna be out.. soon." Jane said while her eyes fluttered shut.

As Maura walked to the door her heart fluttered at the thought that this could be the turning point in their reconciliation. She felt as though she could breathe again. As she walked out of the room she felt a real smile fall over her face and took one last look at Jane whispering " I'll be right back love."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Jane woke to an empty room, but she could hear voices just outside the door. Jane recognized one of them as Maura's. Jane smiled loving the knowledge that Maura now knows her true feelings and better yet returned them. Her smile began to fade as she was hit with the realization that she never actually confessed her feelings and Maura loved a woman she thought Jane was.  
If it wasn't for the monitor continually beeping she would have sworn her heart stopped, when she thought about talking to Maura.

As Maura walked into the room she was immediately worried, Jane was pale and breathing hard.  
She looked to the monitor noting that besides her pulse, her vitals were normal. She walked slowly towards Jane speaking softly. "Jane what's wrong?"

Jane looked over to see Maura walking over to her. She swallowed hard, than took a deep breath.  
Jane patted the side of the bed, quietly asking Maura to sit beside her. As she sat she took Jane's hand in hers.

"Maur, you know I cant remember our life together right?" Maura nodded

"You know than that, I can't recall the day I made my feelings for you known. I know it sounds weird,  
but could you please indulge me by allowing me to tell you like it's the first time how I feel for you?"

Maura nodded again, somehow she had lost all of her communication skills. She could also feel tears falling from her eyes.

Jane swallowed again." Maura every time I said I love you, I lied. I don't love you, I'm in love with you.  
every time you needed a shoulder to cry on, I offered mine. Not out of friendship, but because of a selfish need to feel you in my arms. I haven't told you till now because I'm scared to lose you. You are my best friend, my whole world. If I ever lost that, I would cease to exist. I can't live with out you. I hope this doesn't stop our friendship, but most of all I hope, I dream of a time when you will say you love me too." Jane said with tears in her eyes.

Maura was crying now and holding on tight to Jane's hand. Jane could feel Maura shaking, but was paralysed with fear to do anything about it. Was she crying cause she no longer felt the same for her or were they tears of happiness. Jane didn't have to wait long for an answer, Maura bent over placing both hands on Jane's cheeks than kissed her, it was gentle at first than became more heated. Maura ran her tongue across Jane's lips, Jane knew exactly what she was asking for so she opened her mouth running her tonuge across Maura's. Jane reached up and put her hands in Maura's hair pulling her closer. Maura pulled back just enough to say what she needed to in that moment. " You will always have my heart, there was only ever you!"

Jane could feel every word on her lips. She thought her heart might literally explode, but she kept hearing Maura say that would be scientifically impossible. Maura began to moan as their kisses became more and more heated, Jane kept her hands in Maura's hair pulling her head back enough to have access to her neck. "Oh, Jane, I have missed your touch."

_"mmm, oh Jane I have missed your touch!"_

_"I've only been gone a couple days am I that good?" Jane said with a devilish grin._

_Maura straddled Jane " Yes, you are. You have me so wet right now, see!" She said as she grabbed Jane's hand and placed it between her and Jane._

_"OH...MY...GOD" Jane said while slowly moving her fingers inside._

_"Fuck me" Maura exhaled._

_"I plan to, all night." Jane said as she sat up remaining inside Maura, and reaching around to place her other arm around Maura's back. Maura leaned back into her embrace slightly. Maura began to move against Jane keeping her eyes locked on to Jane's. Jane looked down slightly to watch Maura's supple breasts sway with their movements. She could stare at her breasts for hours and it wouldn't be long enough. _

Jane stopped kissing Maura and pushed her back slightly looking directly into her eyes than down to her breasts whispering " It wouldn't be long enough."

"What?" Maura was confused she saw confusion, than arousal flash over Jane's face. " Jane whats the matter?"

Jane shook her head " It can't be, Maura did... did I have a.. a fondness for your, a your breasts?" Jane was blushing

Maura started to laugh Lifting Jane's chin so that she was looking at her when she said. " You LOVED my breasts, and I can see that you still do!"

Jane laughed as well, than sobered remembering all the flashbacks and decided to tell Maura about them. " Maura I just had a memory pop into my head of a time when you and I, when we were, well we"

"Making love Jane, It's okay to say it."

"Yes well It's gonna take some getting use to. Did I ever go away for a couple of days after we were together?"

"You had to pick a suspect up in Maine once and you were gone for two days. If I recall there was a very nice homecoming for you that evening." Maura said with a seductive smile.

"Wait you remember? Do you remember anything else? That's a great sign Jane!" Maura said leaning into kiss Jane again.

Jane stopped Maura not needing the distraction right now as she tried to decipher what was going on. " Maur please as much as I would love to continue kissing you, and I would _really_ love to continue, I cant have the distraction right now. This isn't the first time I had a memory flash into my mind."

"Jane what else have you remembered?"

"Well the first was about your shoes, the second was us in bed making love, the third was just now we were making love...again." Jane said with another blush

Maura stared at Jane trying to figure out how to approach this. She knew Jane was having trouble believing in a history she doesn't remember, but maybe if she continued to have these memories she would believe. This made Maura extremely happy,but she had to be cautious. If she became to overjoyed it might irritate Jane, and set them back, or shut her down completely. " How do you feel about the memories?"

Jane looked up "Honestly...scared shitless! Does this make me crazy?"

"Jane you're not crazy, you're not! I was just talking to Doctor Becher, He said the mass is located in your frontal lobe. That's the area of the brain that affects your memory, Jane that's why you can't remember anything. You see your not crazy, your sick that's all and we are going to make this better. I wont rest till you are better." She leaned in for another kiss but was interrupted by the nursing staff.

"Detective Rizzoli we are here to get you ready for your MRI." As the staff worked to disconnect Jane from her monitors and I.V jane and Maura just stared at each other smiling trying to reassure each other that it would all be okay. As the staff started to wheel Jane out of the room she brushed her hand against Maura's hand and mouthed I love you.

After the staff wheeled Jane out Maura decided it was time to get Angela down to the hospital for Jane and Angela's sake.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N Sorry for the lack of updates I wanted to write something that conveyed the hurt that was caused by Jane and Angela, but nothing was coming out like I wanted. I hope this does this chapter justice, if not please let me know about it. I said in the beginning this was my first story so any feedback could only help. Thank you!**

**Chapter 11**

Maura sat in Jane's room. She was anxious to hear the results, and to tell Jane that her mother was coming. Maura worried about what their interaction would be seeing as they haven't spoken in six months. Maura hoped given the situation they could forgive one an other. She was surprised to see Angela walk tentatively through the door, she had hoped to talk to Jane before she arrived.

"Angela thank you for coming, this will mean so much to Jane." Maura said trying to hide her surprise

"As I said on the phone, I'm doing this for you Maura. I need you to understand that, Jane still hasn't earned my forgiveness." Angela said rather harshly.

" Yes well I appreciate you being here,... it's been rather_ hard_ dealing with this alone."

Angela held her arms out and walked towards Maura enveloping her in a warm hug. She took a deep breath to calm herself down. "Of course honey, sorry. This must be hard on you, how have you two been together? have you talked."

Maura stepped back away from Angela suddenly feeling like a small child about to disappoint her mother. She cleared her throat trying to hold her tears back. " Communication between us has gone... well"

Angela's eyes squinted as she looked at Maura. " You're avoiding Maura. That tells me that you have something you're afraid to tell me, and that could only mean one thing. You forgave her!

Maura looked up at Angela noting the hurt that had washed over her features. She never intended to hurt Angela, after all she had become so close to her through the divorce and after. She wondered what she would have done without Angela's help and motherly guidance. This was her life though, and she loved Jane, she was the love of her life. If that meant that she would have to be looked upon in such a way by Angela than so be it. She hated that she was the one to hurt a woman who had given her so much, but Angela just had to understand that they belonged together.

Angela could tell by the silence that Maura was taking Jane back. She shook her head and after a big sigh she said "After all she put you through, you could go back just like that. I don't get it Maura, I don't. I had to pick you up of the floor literally. What could she possibly have said to wipe all that away."

"Angela I never wanted to hurt you, you have to understand that. I feel closer to you than my own mother, but this is my life. I need her Angela, I'm not whole without her. I have the chance to feel again,to laugh, breathe and live again. Please... please understand that."

Maura ran her hands through her hair she was becoming frustrated. There was no easy answer to Angela's question or at least not one that would satisfy her. Maura couldn't even explain it to herself she was still holding on to the pain of the past but she also knew how much she loved Jane and nothing would ever change that. " Angela trust me please, I know what I am doing... I remember all the pain and let downs I do, but I also remember the love. I need that back in my life, I need her."

Maura held her hands up pleading with Angela to just trust her and keep her mind open. Angela could see the truth in her eyes, one she thought she would never see again. Maura was finally whole again, and she could never be mad about that. She walked up to Maura, placed both hands on her shoulders and smiled " How could I stand in the way of love sweetie."

Maura and Angela were hugging and crying as Jane was brought back in to her room. She looked over at both women excited to finally have her mother here a thought she would never normally admit but after not hearing from her in days she didn't care who knew.

" Ma oh my god I'm so glad to see you. Please before you start yelling or whatever let me just say I'm sorry for whatever it is that your mad at me for."

Angela couldn't believe what she heard. " Jane Clemintine Rizzoli how dare you give a half ass apology to me after all you said."

"Why don't we wait until the room is clear." Maura said.

It wasn't until Maura said that both women realized there was still orderlies and nurses in the rooms. Both woman stayed quiet but glared at each other looking as though they were both ready to pounce the moment the room was clear. As if the whole room could sense this the staff worked fast to remove them self from the room.

Jane was the first to speak. " Ma I have no idea what I said to you, If you bothered to check on me earlier you'd know that I can't remember a damn thing."

" Well lucky you than, cause I can't forget."

" Okay, lets just calm down for a second and talk this out in a level that the whole hospital can not hear." Maura said.

"Ma please I don't want to fight with you. I don't your my mother, please just tell me what to do." Jane begged

"I will not have your apology until your mind is refreshed."

"Angela that statement doesn't really." Before Maura could finish both women glared over at her.

Maura stopped dead in her tracks and decided that this probably was not the best time to correct either one of the hot-blooded Rizzoli woman. " Uhm I think I will go grab some coffee, while you two talk."

Maura grabbed her purse and walked over to Jane leaning down to Kiss her cheek. She also moved a stray curl out of Jane's face. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Ma please sit."

Angela looked over at the chairs but decided she need to stand if she was going to have to relive their falling out. " I'm fine standing."

"Okay...Please tell me what happened Ma."

Halfway through Angela's account of the argument, It was as Jane was being transported back to Frankie's apartment, she could remember everything and it crushed her. She never imagined she could be so cruel to one of the closest people in her life.

_Jane seekd some solace at her brother Frankie's apartment after she decided to leave Maura. She didn't know where else to turn so she ended up there, where she could trust that her brother would tell her just how much of an ass she was. She wanted to be berated and punished for what she just did. How could she hurt the one person who loved her better than any one before. After a day of Frankie letting his anger out, and Jane taking it. He left her to go to work, but not without telling her he still loved her. Jane was lounging on the couch when she heard Frankie's door open and slam shut. Jane looked to see her mother walk in.  
_

_"Whoa Ma take it easy ha."_

_"What did you do?"_

_Jane sat up on the couch placing her elbows on her knees "Ma not now okay, this is between me and Maura stay out of it."_

_"No I will not especially after I had to literally pick your wife up off the ground. Tell me it's not true you're not leaving her"_

_"Ma I said stay out of it!" Jane's voice was becoming more agitated_

_"Staying out of things is your specialty."_

_Jane jumped up facing her mother knowing full well where this argument was going " Whats that supposed to mean Ma"_

_"Like you did with Tommy, and look where that got him. Drunk and out on the streets."_

_" I fail...you still want to blame me for that don't you, cause lord knows its easier than admitting you failed as a parent."_

_As soon as the words left Jane's mouth she regretted them, but it was to late they were out. Angela looked on devastated, she walked closer to Jane  
_

_"How dare you, he came to you for help, you not me. He needed you and you turned your back on him, now we don't know if he's alive or dead."_

_" I'm not his keeper Ma, I'm not, you're his mother if any one is to blame its you. You should of been a good mother instead of a good catholic. He told you many times he needed help and what did you say come to church, pray, ask god for help. He didn't need god he needed a mother who didn't turn a blind eye."_

_Angela slapped Jane across the face, tears in her eyes. "You don't think I ask my self why...why i didn't do more everyday. I'm not perfect but he came to you that night, he begged you for help, and you literally closed the door on him. You turned your back on everyone who mattered. Just like your no good father, now you will be alone just like him."  
_

_Jane still had her hand on her cheek where she had been slapped. " Oh how perfect you bring up another person in your life you couldn't keep around, pop wasn't too blame for leaving you are."  
_

_Frankie ran in hearing the yelling from outside his door. " What the fuck is going on."_

_"Ask your ingrate sister"_

_"Ask your insane mother." they both yelled at the same time._

_"You both need to calm down, Ma I know your upset about the divorce but it's Janie's life okay."_

_" No it's not just her life it's Maura's, and the twins as well. Have you even given any thought to your babies."_

_Jane walked to the fridge and pulled out a beer, placing it on her cheek " The kids will be fine, I will make sure of that."_

_" Just like you made sure that you would look out for Maura. Do you not remember your vows Jane?"_

_"Ma for the last time stay out of it, it's got nothing to do with you. And don't go running your mouth to the whole neighborhood."_

_"Don't worry Jane I wont say a word to the neighborhood, or you." Angela said as she stormed out of the apartment._

Both Jane and Angela were in tears, Jane had her hand over her mouth too shocked at what she just was told and remembered to speak. Angela could see the profound pain in her daughters face. She wanted to hold her, and tell her it would be alright but she couldn't just yet, she needed to hear an apology.

" Ma... Ma I'm so so sorry. please. Something had to be wrong I would never say such horrible things. I'm...ma I'm sorry please believe me." Jane said while sobbing.

Angela knew they had both made mistakes in that argument. She put to much blame on Jane, she wasnt the only one who held blame. Angela walked over to Jane and held her hand causing Jane to cry even more. "It's okay baby, I'm here. Shhh." Angela sat on the edge of the bed and held onto her daughter crying along with her letting go of all the pain.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N Thank you for the reviews. A lot of people have been wondering where is the other Jane, why did she leave, and what made her so mean. I promise all those questions will be answered, but It will take some time (not much) due to the way the story is planned. I'm sorry some of you are confused because of this, but if I were to write out the answers right of way it would ruin the story.**

**Chapter 12**

Maura was making her way back to Jane's room when she spotted Dr. Becher. She made her way down the hall to speak to him.

"Dr. Becher, Hi, sorry to approach you like this but I would really like to know the results of Jane's MRI."

"Ahh Dr. Rizzoli, I was just on my way to Jane's room. I'll be there as soon as I finish this other patients chart. It shouldn't take long."

"Yes you have other patients, of course, but you see I only have Jane. If something is making her sick I would really, really love to know about it sooner than later. If you dont mind."

Dr. Becher let out a sigh and closed the chart he was working on. Turning his full attention to Maura. " Dr. Rizzoli please understand my position. I can't delvuge this information without Jane's permission. Your no longer her wife, therefore I can not legally tell you the results without her consent. I have shared with you what i can legally but you will just have to wait untill I can get to Jane's room which wont be long now I promise."

Maura wiped at the tear that had escaped from her green colored eye. " I understand doctor sorry to bother you." She said as she began to walk away.

" Maura wait!" Maura stopped and looked over her shoulder towards the doctor.

"I, well, is it alright if I call you Maura?"

Maura now turned fully around. " Yes you may."

"Maura why don't I walk to Jane's room with you, and you can both hear the results."

Both Dr. Becher and Maura began to walk towards Jane room both with a knowing silence between them. Dr. Becher hated giving this news and Maura already knew by his reluctance to give her any information that it wasnt good.

Upon their arrival at Jane's room they were both greeted by the Rizzoli woman. Maura noticed a lack of agitation between the two women and hoped that meant that they were able to work their greavience's toward each other out. She would have to ask about that later though right now all she was concerned with was the test results.

" Jane how are you feeling?" Dr. Becher asked noting Jane's sickly pallor. He also noted how Jane's eyes never left Maura's as she walked up to Jane's bed grabbing hold of her hand.

"I'm ok doc." Jane said trying to mask the nervousness she felt inside.

" Jane is it alright if I talk to you about all your test results right now" He said while looking over at Angela.

"Oh yeah, yeah it's fine this is my mother Angela Rizzoli."

"Nice to meet you Mrs. Rizzloi" Dr. Becher said while holding his hand out to Angela

Angela shook the doctors hand and said with a smile " It's Ms. Rizzloi now"

"I apologize"

" Dont worry about it, I don't." Angela said with a smile and a wink.

"Ma!" Jane said through gritted teeth.

Angela held out both hands saying under her breath. " what"

The doctor cleared his throat wanting to continue on with what he was there for. He stood at the foot of the bed, Maura and Angela were on opposite sides holding Jane's hands. He took a moment to look at the three of them noting that this was the moment he always tried to hold onto when things get too tough. The moment when everyone looks so hopeful of good news, before he broke their hearts and crushed their dreams of a happy future. This was the moment he wished would last forever before the tears and hopelessness.

"Jane the MRI showed a malignant glioma in the frontal lobe of your brain. There is swelling and some compressed nerves associated with this tumor. Your blood tests also show a rise in your white blood cell count. When you add in the symptoms that you have been having such as seizures, memory loss, and from the family history we got increased behavioral problems, I'm sorry to inform you, that you have brain cancer.

Jane just stared ahead, too stunned to say anything. She didn't know how to comprehend what the doctor just said. This couldn't be real, it can't, it just can't, she thought. The last thing she remembered was falling through a roof, and now she is being told that she has brain cancer. What the _fuck_ is all that rang through her head. She wanted to ignore it all and continue to believe that none of this is real. She couldn't though, the mounting evidence proved that everything Maura has been saying is true. So she was going to aproach this just like she did everything else, head on. So she has a brain tumor that has altered her memory, that has taken away her memories of her life, and caused her to fuck up the closest of her relationships. She was going to get her revenge on this tumor, if I can beat a murderous stalker like Holt I could beat this, she thought.

"Jane, Jane did you understand what I just said" Doctor Becher asked.

"Jane" Maura asked

Jane looked over to Maura she had tears falling down her cheeks, eyes red with pain. Jane let go of her mothers hand and reached over wiping some of the tears from Maura's face. She knew she needed to be strong for her, if she breaks down no one would be there to hold Maura up. Who will wipe her tears away, or hold her in their arms, and whisper in her ear that everything is going to be okay.

" I heard you doc, how bad?" she said never taking her eyes off Maura.

" It's a fairly large tumor and the time frame suggest it's a fairly fast growing tumor. Both those things are not good for you, but I need to get a biopsy to know more."

Anglea wiped her tears and cleared her throat asking " What do you mean not good?"

" A tumor of this magnitude is hard to treat. Most patients don't live very long with rumors like this." the doctor said.

Maura tightened her grip on Jane's hand, going pale ,and Angela sat down in her chair sobbing into her hands.

Jane's posture never changed, she was unwavering in her resolve to beat this. To stay strong for her loved ones, even though the more the doctor talked the harder the harder it sounded the fight would be.

" So were do we go from here doc." Jane asked.

" Well you are young and other wise healthy so first I'd like to approach this surgically. I would like to go in and try to remove as much of the tumor as possible. Than we can put you on a round of chemotherapy." Doctor Becher said.

"Okay so that's what we'll do. I'm gonna need some time though, I'd like to go home and take care of a few things." Jane said

" Jane no" both Angela and Maura said

" I agree Jane we need to start sooner than later" Doctor Becher said.

" listen I understand your worry but I need this, it's not a negotiation."

" Jane please for me don't do this" Maura said

" Just a week, one week Maura. That's all"

Maura looked into Jane's eyes and saw the desperation,to have this week of normalcy before all their lives were thrown into chaos. She knew than she would agree.

" One week, than you'll come right back." Maura said

"I'll drive" Jane said with a smirk

" You most definitely will not." Maura responded with know inning smile of what Jane was trying to do.

" You two can't be serious doctor say something" Angela pleaded now standing

" Unfortunately there is nothing I can do. Jane has the right to leave even though I don't agree with that decision." Doctor Becher said

" Ma it will be okay, trust me please"

Angela wouldn't look at her daughter, they just made amends and know Jane was going to take another risk with her life it was to much she grabbed her purse and walked out of the room.

" Ma wait, please" Jane pleaded

Jane sighed " She is such a pain in my ass"

" One would say you are quite like her" Maura said with a slight smile

Jane scoffed and glare at Maura. " Really"

The doctor cleared his throat feeling as if he was intruding a private moment. " Yes well I'll get your discharge papers ready. And also get you on my schedule for one week from today. I can not stress how important it is that you come back."

" Don't worry doc I'll be here." Jane said.

" Yes she will." Maura said

**A/N sorry for the delay. My CPU crashed. No further delays expected**.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N thank you to rehellams for pointing out my typo with hoyt's name. I'm also honored to have all the followers that I do, thank you all. This chapter is going to delve deeper into Maura and Jane's relationship and how they plan on repairing it. It will be split into three chapters. Here's the first two.  
**

**Chapter 13**

Jane sat in the passenger seat of Frankie's car. looking out the window trying to remain calm with all that had happened in the last 24 hours. She never knew hurt like this, or anger. She loved Maura with all her heart but she could be the most insufferable woman ever. Jane tried she really had but there's only so much one can take. What have I done Jane thought all of a sudden, she can't leave things like this, she had to see Maura even if she didn't want to see her.

"So you gonna let me get all the way to your apartment till you tell me to turn around or what?"

"Excuse me." Jane said.

"Janie I know you and I know the torment that your putting yourself through right now. You were angry, you left, but now you regret that. Am I right?"

Jane just stared at her little brother in amazement that he knew her so well. He was right too, she wanted to go back but how could she after all that was said. It still confused and made her angry, she could only imagine what Maura was going through. There was no way she would want to see her, right?

Jane turned to look back out the window " There's no point Maura doesn't want me there."

Frankie pulled the car over and shut it off, he than turned to look at his sister. "Janie look at me, _LOOK AT ME_"  
he said forcefully

Jane was taken aback by his tone, he had never raised his voice to her. She turned to look at him but just to prove that she was still in control she crossed her arms, defiant until the end.

"Jane I watched you change after the divorce, it, it was as if you were dying a slow death. Everyday you put on your _I'm untouchable_ face but I saw through that. I saw the pain in your eyes, the sadness in your heart. Don't walk away again, don't do this to yourself. Don't do this to Maura she deserves more from you. Ma and I saw what you didn't, the most put together person in the world was devastated. Do you know most days Ma had to drag her out of bed, help her get dressed and practically force feed the woman, all because you left her. The one person I know she loves more than life itself left, don't do that to her again."

"How'd you get so smart Frankie, ha?" Jane said while wiping at tears in her eyes

"I had a good teacher." Frankie said with a smile.

Jane looked straight ahead not wanting him to see her cry anymore than he had too." What do I do, I can't just walk back in and say I'm sorry."

"Yes you do Janie, you say your sorry, than you say your sorry some more. Than you keep saying your sorry till she forgives you. You need her as much as she needs you, so fight for it!"

Jane put her head back on the seat head rest and sighed. "Frankie take me home."

"My pleasure." Frankie said and while grabbing a hold of Jane's hand and giving it a squeeze.

On the drive back to the beacon hill home Jane once shared with Maura Jane couldn't help but think back to how this all got started. Things were going so good at the hospital but as soon as Jane arrived at Maura's after her insisting, things went horribly wrong

Jane and Maura were waiting for her discharge papers, both aware of a sudden tension in the air. Neither were sure what to do from here. It was easy to admit there love for each other, but now that they were going home what's next. Does Maura just pretend that all the pain of Jane's behavior never existed, Jane doesn't remember there life together so how does she just go back to being a married woman. There were so many questions that needed to be discussed, but both woman were afraid to bring up the pain of the past. Jane sat on the edge of the bed playing with her hospital wrist band, taking a deep breath she decided it was now or never.

"So are we gonna talk about whats next from here."

"What do you mean?" Maura asked

"I mean we are a divorced couple that has kids which I remember none of, so where do we go from here?"

Maura stared at Jane not sure herself of what to do next, but she knew they didn't have much time. Maura didn't want to waste one second of it, so she knew what she had to do.

"Jane I want you to come home with me, you can sleep in the guest bed. Jackson and Isabella would love to have you there, and it might help you to remember some more. I would also feel better if you were there instead of alone at your apartment."

"Maura about the kids, don't you think it might be traumatizing to them when I don't recognize them." Jane said

Maura moved closer to Jane and took her hands into hers. " Jane you are their mother, they need you."

"And you, do you need me Maura?" Jane said

Maura kept her head down staring at their hands intertwined. " I want, I need to repair what we broke Jane."

"You mean what I broke." Jane said while reaching out to lift Maura's head up by her chin.

A tear escaped Maura's eye. " Yes...what you broke Jane."

Jane wiped away the fallen tear with her thumb, she than pulled Maura in to a hug. Jane kissed the side of Maura's head and whispered into her ear " I will fix us Maur."

Maura fully embraced Jane, they were both crying now. Both with a new found hope for the future, However long it may be. Jane was the first to pull away just enough to look into Maura's eyes. She smiled, trying to reassure Maura, trying to convey her intent to make the hurt that was in Maura's eyes and soul go away. Just as they were about to kiss nurse Laura walked in.

Jane growled releasing Maura. " You have the worst timing ever!"

Both Maura and Laura laughed. " Well you wont have to worry about that anymore, your walking papers are here." Laura said

"Thank God, no offence but I'm really sick of this place."

"None taken, besides I'll get to torture you some more next week when you come back." Laura said with a smile.

Nurse Laura cut Jane's bracelet off and had her sign her discharge papers. She also gave Maura prescriptions for pain meds to fill for Jane. Maura and Jane left the hospital hand in hand. Jane refused the wheel chair even though she was still pretty weak on her feet the staff agreed. Jane and Maura made their way home in Maura's car.

"So where do you live now?" Jane asked

"I bought another home in beacon hill, It is my prefered neighborhood."

"And why do I still have my apartment?"

"You rented it out while we were married, you said it was prime real estate. Later on in our marriage though you admitted that you rented it so that you could make more money to contribute to the household. I always told you money didn't matter to me but you insisted on being equal in that department."

"And after the divorce I moved back in?" Jane asked

Maura stared ahead and just nodded it was hard to discuss this, but she knew it was important for Jane to know. Jane stared at Maura seeing the sadness in her face, she reached over and grabbed onto her hand giving it a squeeze.

"Thank you." Maura said

"For what?" Jane asked

"For still knowing when I need comforting." Maura said while glancing at Jane and her hands.

"So tell me about the twins." Jane said

"Do you remember anything Jane?"

"My memory only comes back in bits when something triggers it, hopefully when I see them something comes back." Jane said sadly

"I carried them but we used both our eggs, Jackson looks like me and Isabella looks just like you. Their personalities are the opposite though." Maura said with a giggle

" So than I take it Jack is a bit of a handful." Jane said with a smile

Maura took her eyes off the road almost swerving into oncoming traffic. " Whoa Maur what's wrong?" Jane asked

"I'm sorry, it's just...just now you said Jack. You always called Jackson Jack, never Jackson. Did you remember something?" Maura asked

"No I'm sorry, I just said it without thinking."

Maura squeezed Jane's hand to reassure her this time after hearing the sad tone of her voice. The rest of the ride was spent with Maura telling Jane all about the twins, their likes and dislikes. How they both are die hard Red Sox fans thanks to Jane. How Jane is so protective of them, It pretty much took a family intervention to get Jane to let them have their first sleep over at a friends home. How every birthday Jane makes them their favorite breakfast Bunny pancakes and bacon, turkey bacon for Isabella. Jane soaked up every bit of information, she never took her eyes off of Maura the entire time she was talking. By the time they pulled into the driveway she felt as though she knew everything about them, except she didn't actually know them. This scared her to death,, she has two kids, two four year old's that she has never met. What was she to do, she never really imagined herself as a parent, and now she had one minute to become one. Jane knew that if she didn't put her best foot forward it would be traumatizing to the kids.

What do I do she kept asking herself, what do I say, how do I behave around them. She felt herself begin to panic, she began to hyperventilate. Maura noticed this along with the sudden pallor of Jane's skin and became frightened that something was seriously wrong.

"Jane what's wrong, Jane please talk to me!" Maura said while turned fully in her seat.

Jane turned slowly looking at Maura. " I have two kids, I don't know what to do with that."

"Jane you love kids you will be fine. Just think of T.J and how you were with him. Look in my eyes Jane, Look at me and breathe just like me. In through your nose out through your mouth, In through your nose out through your mouth."

Jane was trying to breathe but she was just getting worse she felt herself begin to fade. Maura noticed this and did the only thing she thought to distract Jane. She climbed into her lap, placed both hands on her cheeks and kissed her. It was slow and sensual at first, she just ment to bring Jane down from her panic attack, but than the kiss grew more desperate. Tongues danced along each other, Maura bite down gently on Jane's bottom lip. They were both moaning with a growing need for more, Hands slid in hair and pulled just on the verge of pain. Maura's hips began to rock back and forth causing her skirt to slide up around her hips. Jane slid her hands under the sides of Maura's panties grabbing onto her ass, eliciting a moan in Jane's mouth. Jane knew they should stop after all this would be her first time with Maura, at least that she could remember, and she did not want it to be in a car.

"Maur...Maur...we need to stop." Jane said while resting her forehead against Maura's

Maura was breathing heavy but shook her head yes. " You are right, we can't do this."

"I love you Maura Rizzoli!"

"I love you Jane Rizzoli!" They both said with wide grins.

"Lets go inside, Ma is probably getting ready to come out here and check on us." Jane said with a blink of her eye

"Oh heavens no, although it wouldn't be the first time she caught us in the act." Maura said as she climbed off jane fixing her clothing.

Jane gasped and stared at Maura. "I don't want to know."

Maura laughed as she exited the car, she walked around to help Jane out. " I wish I was as fortunate."

As the pair walked up the driveway and towards the front steps Jane stopped and took a deep breath. " Ready?" Maura asked

"Together?" Jane asked

"Together." Maura said


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Jane felt as though she was in a strangers home, it had many of the same decorations and furnishings that Maura's old home had, but it still felt foreign to her. Maura was putting the bag of clothes that Jane had at the hospital in the laundry room so Jane had a chance to just take in her surroundings. She walked into the living room first and noted the wall of photographs, photo's of her life. A life she had no memory of, there were ones of her and the kids and ones of the whole family together. The only one she recognized was a photo of her and Maura taken a week before she shot herself. Jane reached up and grabbed the photo off the wall, for the time she held that photo she was herself again. A whole person who wasn't sick, who had no void in their memory, Just Jane Maura's best friend.

Maura walked into the living room and saw Jane staring at a photo, she looked to the wall and knew immediately which photo it was. She noted the sadness in Jane's face. She wondered what she was thinking. " Quarter for your thoughts."

Jane placed the photo back while rolling her eyes. "It's penny, and I was just thinking back to when this picture was taken. Things were a lot less complicated."

"Less complicated, we were both hiding are feelings for each other. That sounds complicated to me."

Jane kissed Maura tenderly on the cheek. " Do you always have to be right."

"Yes." Maura said with a smile

Just than Angela and the kids came in from the backyard. The twins bolted for Jane almost knocking her down in the process. Each one had a hold of one of Jane's legs they were also talking at the same time. Each one had a hundred questions, Maura could see that Jane was becoming overwhelmed with it all so she intervened on her behalf.

"Okay kids, lets let Ma sit down and you can talk to her in an orderly fashion. Not like two children that I had no part in raising."

"Yes Momma." They both said

Jane sat down on the couch, the twins joined her waiting for the okay to ask their questions. Maura and Angela were about to make their way into the living room to help Jane if she were to get in to deep. Jane put her hand up stopping them, she also glanced at Maura and smiled letting her know she got this.

"Okay, ask away you two." Jane said

"Are you back for good Ma?" Jackson asked

"I have to go back to the doctors next week so only for a little while."

"Why do you have to spend so much time at the doctors Ma?" Isabella asked

"Ma has a...a boo boo in her head."

"Boo boo Ma were not babies anymore." Jackson said

"That's right you're not, you are going to have to forgive me I forget that sometimes." Jane said with a smile

"Are you Hurt?"

"Well."

"Do you have to go away for awhile?"

"I'm not sure."

"Can we come this time?"

Maura saw Jane struggling to communicate her condition to the twins so she decided to walk over and help. She sat down next to Jane on the couch taking her hand in hers.

"Sweeties Ma and Momma need to Have a grown up talk with you. We need you to put on your best listening ears for a while can you do that for us?" Maura said

The twins both agreed. Jane squeezed Maura's hand silently thanking her for recognizing that she needed help communicating to their children. she wanted to try and do it herself, but she had to admit defeat after all she was way out of her league with the twins.

"Okay" They both said

"Do you remember what Ma said about hurt's?" Maura asked

"There are big hurt's and small hurt's." Jackson said

Isabella giggles "Momma says hurt's isn't a word."

"Momma says you say a lot of wrong words Ma." Jackson said

Jane glares at Maura noting her sheepish smile. Jane begins to giggle along with the twins. "You'll have to tell me more of what momma says about MA later."

"Okay lets get back on topic." Maura says trying to avoid that conversation. "Do you two remember what Ma said about big hurts?" Maura asked

"Everyone will get small hurts and those go away, but some people get big hurts and they are harder to go away." Isabella said

"Like the people Momma help." Jackson asked

"No my baby, those people have hurts that never go away." Maura said while chocking up, tears escaping from her eyes.

"Momma why are you crying?" Isabella asked

Jane squeezed Maura's hand letting her know that they were in this together " Momma is a little sad right now because we need to tell you that I have a big hurt right now. And in order to try and get better I'm going to have to go back to the doctors for a while." Jane said

"And than your hurt will be gone?" Isabella asked

"I'm gonna try real hard to make sure it is!"

"Can we come?" asked Jackson

"You can visit Ma but not right away my love's" Maura said

"Why, I want to be with Ma." Jackson said

"Ma is going to need her rest in the beginning, just like you two did when you had chicken pox." Maura said

"Do you have chicken pox Ma?" Isabella asked

Jane laughed and picked her up to hug her " Something like that sweetie, something like that."

Angela could tell that both Maura and Jane were exhausted so she decided to take the kids to her house to make dinner for everyone. She told Maura she would drive dinner and the kids back over at six pm. Once gone Jane and Maura felt an awkwardness fall over them. Without the kids or Angela what do they do, there was so much to say.

"I think I'll take a shower if that's okay." Jane said

"Yes, of course. There are towels in the guest room closet. Should I get you some of my clothes until we go to your place later?"

"Yeah thanks, but nothing to...to you." Jane said

"And what exactly is that supposed to mean."

"you know..."

"No I don't please enlighten me." Maura said while crossing her arms

Jane could tell some of the underlying tension was starting to come out so she decided to relent to Maura's judgment. " I'm sorry I didn't mean anything by it. Whatever you want to get me would be fine, thank you."

"I'm sorry too, I just..." Maura said as she uncrossed her arms walking towards Jane.

"It's okay Maur I understand, I get it really. It hurts though to know how much I hurt you. So I think its best if I just go take a shower now." Jane said as she stepped back from Maura not wanting to be comforted, and feeling as though she wasn't good enough to comfort Maura

" okay, I'll be in the living room if you need anything." Maura said

"Thanks I shouldn't be long."

Maura walked into the living room and sat on the couch. She couldn't understand why all that anger came out. She thought she could do this but maybe she was wrong.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N Thank you for the reviews once again. To the reviewers who said they can't understand why Maura is still so mad at Jane, think of it this way Jane put Maura through unimaginable hurt. With her words and actions, that kind of pain (which will be discussed) doesn't just go away because of a brain tumor. That is the reason why Maura forgave her so easily though, but forgive and forget are two different things. Big thanks to the guest reviewer who tried to put this in perspective for other readers. I'm trying to tell a story that involves a past and a present, and those two are not always told in succession. For any confusion I apologize.**

**Chapter 15**

Jane exited her room wearing a pair of yoga pant's and a Red Sox sweatshirt, she was still towel drying her hair when she heard the glass break. Jane was immediately drawn back into another memory of her past, one she would wish she never remembered.

_All Jane heard was the unmistakable sound of glass breaking right before she felt the shards tearing through her flesh. The next thing she knew she was being torn from her seat._

_"Where's our boy Detective, where is Shane ha?" A henchman for the Flannigan mob said to Jane as he held her by the lapels of her jacket._

_" Sh Shane who the hell!" Jane said a bit disoriented by the quickness that this had all gone down. last thing she remembered was being at a red light._

_"Don't bitch ok just don't play stupid wit us. We know ya was the one who pinched him at the warehouse, so tell us how ya gonna make it right." A second henchman said._

_"I don't know what you expect from me, but your boy is already locked up and on his way to a very long stay behind bars. There's nothing I can do about that." Jane said with a small smile knowing they weren't going to get what they wanted._

_"Do you honestly think that the three Irish mobs who control Boston are going to let a punk kid and a cop run this city, do you?"_

_"Why does the Flannigan's want in on this its between Doyle and Finn. You guys jealous, want to play in the sandbox too." Jane said_

_Listen bitch, that boy is ol man Flannigan's nephew, and because of you he's got a price on his head. a price that's making it bad for business and bad for our reputation."_

_"He has a price on his head cause he wanted to impress the Finn's, bet you uncle really loved that." Jane said right before she was punched in the stomach._

_"That's none of your concern, we handle family business inside the family."_

_"Tell me something if it was so important for him to impress a rival mob why do you care what happens to him." Jane asked_

_"Really some detective you are, He made the boss look bad, real bad. He wanted to be part of the Finn mob just to piss the old man off, and that he did. So now we're gonna handle the situation." _

_The henchman that was holding Jane threw her back slamming Jane into her car. The second punched her right in her abs causing her to slouch down and cough in pain. She was lifted back up, held tighter around her lapels, and slammed into the car again. The goon who was holding onto Jane got so close to her face that she could taste the scotch and cigars on his breath._

_"I'm only gonna say this once Rizzoli, you'd betta find a case of amnesia when it comes to testifying for Shane, or were gonna have to find what you love the most and tear it away. Just like you did when you took the bosses nephew from him." He said with a final punch to Jane's gut._

_Jane struggled to stay on her feet " Wait, wait what...what do you mean."_

_As the two were retrieving the bat they used to smash Jane's driver side window in one yelled back " You sure do have a pretty family Rizzoli, how bout you keep it that way."_

_Jane reached for her gun but it wasn't on her side, she left it at home as she ran out for the kids milk. Jane had never been so infuriated and scared at the same time. She had to get home, she had to make sure her family was okay. Jane jumped back in the driver's seat ignoring the pain she felt from her head to her stomach. Jane wrapped her jacket around her hand and wiped the glass off her seat. Jane drove with her lights on trying to get home as fast as possible. When she reached home she bolted from the car and almost busted the door down as she was opening it._

_"Maura" Jane yelled_

_"Jane is everything...Oh my Jane your face is covered in blood what happened?" Maura asked as she rushed to be by Jane's side. She attempted to move some of Jane's hair to get a better look but Jane stepped away._

_"The kids where are the kids?" Jane asked as she was about to take off looking for them._

_Maura grabbed Jane by the arm halting her in her tracks. " Jane they are upstairs sleeping, what happened please talk to me."_

_Jane saw the genuine concern in Maura's face and thought about how much she truly loved this woman. She couldn't get what Flannigan's men said out of her head, what you love the most. Had she ignored her better judgment all these years. She knew that with her crazy job and the habit she had of bringing it home with her, literally, That she could lose Maura one day. That was part of the reason as to why she took so long to admit to her feelings, it put Maura in a vulnerable spot. She could not live with herself if anything were to happen to Maura, or the kids now. What was she to do though living without them either way was not an option, so what came out of her mouth next would never be a mystery to her._

_"Uh I.. I was in a car accident. I must have been knocked unconscious cause I thought you and the kids were in danger."  
_

_"A car accident, why didn't you stay on scene? Was anyone else involved? Are you in any pain?" Maura was asking questions while she physically checked Jane for any neck or back injuries._

_Jane stilled Maura's hands and stared into her eyes " I'm okay, look at me I'm okay. Just a bunch of small cuts that's all."_

_"Are you sure, most people don't feel all their injuries due to the amount of adrenaline running through their bodies at the time of incident. and if you think you were unconscious"_

_"Maur I'm fine okay, I just need to take a shower and than you can get a better look at these cuts on my face."  
_

_"Jane what about the accident do we need to call the police?" Maura asked_

_"I am the police." Jane said while walking up to their bedroom.  
_

_"Jane this is not the time for jokes." Maura said while following Jane._

_Jane sighed and turned around just as they entered the bedroom. " Maur, sweetie. I was at a red light when a tree branch fell down and hit my window there's nothing to report. I'll call Korsak before i go to bed so he will be aware that I'm driving around in a windowless cruiser, but other than that there is nothing else to do. I have some cuts and a concussion nothing new" she said with a smile  
_

_Maura walked over to Jane and looked her in the eyes as if she could tell Jane was lying. It hurt to know the woman you loved would lie to you, she decided to let it go for now. Jane had never lied to her before so she must have good reason for it now. She helped Jane check her hair for any remaining glass and then went to go check on the kids. As for Jane she knew Maura saw right through her lies, but she couldn't tell her the truth the less she was involved the better._

_Three weeks went by and everyday of those three weeks were a living nightmare. How could she even think of lying on the stand, she could be thrown in jail, she would betray her oath to protect and serve, and if the truth came out she would lose the respect of the only person she has ever loved. Everyday she was also reminded of what she could lose by not lying by the Flannigan mob. She needed out of this situation and quick, but how could she? Those three weeks began to eat away at her soul she became distant and short with everyone except Maura. She didn't like what she was becoming, neither did Korsak. He was tired of getting complaints about Jane every day from someone who she had pissed off. He also was finding it harder to get her partner to stay, he seemed to be her number one punching bag. _

_Today was the day of the trial, the day she had dreaded since that fateful evening three weeks ago. She was number four on the list of the prosecutions witnesses, which meant it could be a while before she is called. Jane had been so close to telling Maura the truth that day she needed her best friend and wife's advice. She decided that she couldn't put Maura in that situation. Jane would have to ride this out alone. Or so she thought, Just prior to her being called to testify Jane received a visit from Maura._

_"What are you doing here I thought you were busy all day?" Jane asked excitedly _

_"I am, but I wanted to wish you good luck! I know you have been letting this case bother you for some time now and I just wanted to let you know that I love you! Maura said as she stood on her tip toes ever so slightly to match Jane's hight in heels, kissing her tenderly on the lips.  
_

_"Thank you for that I needed that more than you know." Jane felt some of the tension lift off her shoulder with that kiss. Because now it was clear what she had to do, that kiss said everything she needed to hear without saying anything at all._

_Jane walked Maura out and headed back to the hall to wait for her name to be called. She didn't have to wait long, Jane took a deep breath and walked in to the court room with her head held high. As she walked to the stand she noticed Jonny Flynn one of Doyle's men sitting in the audience. She hadn't thought much of it seeing as the Doyle's and Flannigan's have been enemies for decades, but after she sat down she noticed a piece of paper folded on top of her file. She discretely unfolded it, without taking her eyes off the prosecution and placed it on top of her file of Shane O'Malley. _

_"Detective Rizzoli could you please state the events that took place on July 19th."_

_As Jane was recounting the events that took place in the warehouse she was also reading the note that was mysteriously left for her. It was a not from Paddy Doyle it read as follows;_

_Jane I know what you have gone through these past few weeks, I know about the threat. I can protect Maura and the twins I can promise you that they will always be under my protection and my men's protection too. All you have to do is tell the truth,__put O'Malley away for life, and in the future if_ we should ever need of anything you could return the favor than. Don't worry bout the letter we will get it out the same way we got it in.

_"So Detective Rizzoli is it clear to say that the man you had a struggle with is here today?" The prosecutor asked._

_Jane sat there and just stared ahead at Doyle's man, it was now clear to her why he was there. So now what was she to do she could lie and have that eat away at her conscious, tell the truth and possibly become a CI for the Doyle mob or she could tell the truth about Shane and Doyle and have a clear conscious but a family in danger. What could she do but choose the only option that kept her family safe._

_"Yes he is, he's sitting right there. his name is Shane O'Malley." Jane said with a gulp and the knowledge that she would never be the same._

Jane dropped her towel to the floor and stood there wide eyed and shaking. What had she done, how could she become an informant for Patty Doyle. Just as she was about to sit she remembered a glass being shattered and heard her name being called.

"Jane...Jane don't come in here there is glass everywhere." Maura said

Jane walked around th other side of the island to find Maura squatting trying to pick up pieces of glass. Jane cleared her throat. " Maura we need to talk."

"Oh Jane is it about earlier cause I really am sorry about that, and I'm kinda busy right now if you can't tell"

"Maura look at me" Jane asked.

Maura sighed and looked up she dropped the towel she was holding and pushed the garbage bin out-of-the-way so she could get closer to Jane. " Jane are you okay you are so pale? Is it your head do you need your pills?"

"I just remembered something and I need to talk to you about it." Jane said

"Come, let's sit on the couch." Maura took Jane by the hand, and walked her over to the couch both sitting in their usual spots as if no time had passed.

"Maura do you remember when I went out for milk and came back all cut up from a tree branch going through my window?"

"Yes, why? wait you remember that...that's great." Maura said

"Yes, well just wait till I tell you, that I wasn't honest with you that night, it wasn't an accident."

"Jane... I knew you weren't telling the truth, I have always known."

"What, you knew? Why didn't you tell me? why weren't you mad?" Jane asked as she stood up from the couch and paced.

"Jane please sit, Please."

"No...I wont sit why would you allow me to live with the guilt of lying to you all this time?"

"Jane you have no right to be mad at me, no right what so ever. I was the one who was betrayed, I was the one who had to question day and night why you would lie to me. Do you have any idea what ran through my mind, what I had to endure every time you left the home. I could never trust you after that, never." Maura said as she began to sob into her hands.

Jane just stared at Maura, how could she be such a selfish idiot. Here she is, placing blame on a woman who had her heart broken, by none other than herself. Jane couldn't stand seeing Maur cry, even more so when it was because of her. She walked over to the couch and sat next to Maur, placing both her hands on her arms, silently begging for Maura to allow Jane to comfort her. Maura slowly put her hands down, her face was soaked with tears. Jane held onto both of Maura's hands, she than kissed every tear on her face, taking her time on each one. Maura closed her eyes giving herself to Jane, cherishing every touch of her lips. Jane pulled away and looked at Maura waiting for her to open her eyes, so she could see the sincerity in her eyes when she apologized.

Maura slowly opened her eyes, squeezing Jane's hands ever so gently. " Jane I.."

"Let me talk first, please. I can't remember everything I did to you yet, but I promise you never had a reason to mistrust me. I'm sorry I gave you reason to think otherwise. I know I can never make the hurt of the past leave your mind, but I can try. I can try till the day I die and every moment in between. Let me love you Maura, Let me make it right. Tell me what you need?" Jane said on bended knees, looking into Maura's eyes.

Maura stared at Jane, the woman she loved for so many years. Listening to every word, soaking up every ounce of truth that was spoken. She knew that she could never turn away from her. " I need you not to hurt me again. The day you left my heart broke, I can't handle that again, I wouldn't survive it."

Jane stood up and pulled Maura up with her. She placed Maura's arms around her neck, than she ran her arms around Maura's waist. She rested her forehead against Maura's and whispered." Let me love you forever, let me into your heart again. I promise I will never ever hurt you again. Please believe me."

Maura brought her lips right up to Jane's but stopped just short of connecting, giving her enough space to say. " I trust you, I love you forever." She than placed her lips on Jane's kissing her tenderly and slow, taking her time to get acquainted with Jane's lips again.

"I love you."

"I love you too."


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N I have contemplated changing this story for a bit. I started with a plan and due to some personal issues that plan has been lost. If you would like me to continue with the story as is please let me know. If the general consensus is to leave it as is I will. I also wanted to say thank you to all my readers thus far and to come for there continued support I have had some great messages, really encouraging. Please enjoy!**

**I claim no ownership of these characters. Any person/s who may be similar to those i made up are purely coincidental.**

**Chapter** **16**

Jane and Maura remained in each others arms for quite some time neither wanting to face reality. Maura didn't want to face the fact that Jane was sick, and Jane just wanted to forget it all. Jane was the first to pull back, she couldn't let Maura back in to her life without her knowing the truth, or at least the one her mind is telling her. Jane rested her forehead against Maura's and sighed looking into her eye's she thought how innocent those eyes were and how she hated to see hurt in those eyes, but there was no way around this. Jane had to be honest, if they were to move forward she had to put a little more hurt in those beautiful, innocent eyes.

Jane sat back keeping Maura's hands entwined in her own. She knew that this was going to be hard to hear, Jane had a hard time even believing she could do something like this. Although Jane was starting to believe she was capable of anything after the last few days of unwanted, confusing, and hurtful memories. If any one would ever ask her if she could turn her back on everything she held high in this life she would of said she'd rather die first, but here she is an apparent CI for the Doyle mob, an inconsiderate daughter, a vile wife, and a just all around vile person. Those things she couldn't blame on a tumor no matter what the doctors say.

Jane let out a sigh and looked down at their hands " Jane what is it? Please talk to me, we are just beginning to make things right, so please no more lies." Maura said

"There's something I remembered when you broke the glass."

"Okay what did you remember? Something bad?"

Jane looked back up at Maura " I want you to listen to everything I'm about to tell you please. don't interrupt and try not to get mad till I'm done. Can you do that, please?"

Maura just nodded. Jane went on to tell her everything she remembered, nothing was held back. As she went on Maura was showing signs of anger. She slowly released Jane's hands, sat a little straighter, and began to play with a ring on her right hand. Jane could tell the after math was going to be hard to get through, but she went on explaining how she had no choice and it was become a CI, lie under oath, or wait for the day that she was told her family was killed.

"So I'm, I'm done. I've told you everything, is there anything you want to ask?" Jane asked tentatively.

Maura stood up and turned her back on Jane. She stood with one hand on her hip the other was covering her mouth. Jane wasn't sure if she should say something or just wait. Fortunate for her she didn't have to wait long. Maura turned around and stared at Jane, she dropped the hand that was covering her mouth and placed it around her waist. Maura opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out, She tried again and she just couldn't get the words out. Maura turned on her hell dropping both arms to her sides making a move to walk away, but Jane jumped up and ran in front of her holding her arms out preventing Maura from walking around her.

"Move out of my way Jane." Maura said on shaky words.

"No"

"Jane move." Maura said a little stronger

"No, Maur I'm not moving until we talk." Jane said as she dropped her arms down by her side.

Maura ran her hands through her hair. "I cant' talk to you right now, please move."

Jane moved to her side to let her pass. " If you go now, we will never be able to come back to one another. Please talk to me, please I'm begging you, please Maur."

Maua dropped her arms in defeat, tears ran down her cheeks. Jane walked up to her and began to wipe her tears away with the palms of her hands. " Its ok to be mad at each other, it's not ok to walk away." Jane whispered.

Maura looked into Jane's eyes and said "where was that advice month's ago?"

"I'm a slow learner." Jane said with a shrug.

Maura reached up and took Jane's right hand in her left, she than procedeed to lead them back to the couch. As they sat Maura was battling her tears, chocking up before she could even speak. Jane saw the woman she loved struggling and it broke her heart to know that she was once again the reason for her pain. With hands still entwined Jane brought them to her lips and kissed Maura's very gently, letting her know that it was going to be ok she wasnt going anywhere.

"Jane I just don't know why you wouldn't tell me this prior to everything going so horribly wrong."

"I wish I had an answer for you,but I don't remember why. I'm sorry, so so sorry." Jane said.

Maura reached for tissue's wiping the running mascara from her face. She stared at the fireplace, willing her eyes to stop betraying her with unwanted tears. "I could of helped." she said still staring at the fireplace.

"Maura what could you have done, I could barely make a choice. I'm sure I wouldn't of wanted you to live with the fear of having a threat to our kids lives or your's everyday." Jane said while placing her hand on Maura's chin turning her head towards her.

"But why, why would my father put you in that situation. He's my father, your my wife, he should have been willing to protect us for that alone." Maura asked.

"I cant remember, but I plan on finding out why soon."

"What does that mean?" Maura asked now holding onto both of Jane's hands

"I'm going to visit dear old dad, and ask for myself." Jane said sternly.

Maura placed scooted closer to Jane and grabbed her face not so gently. "You will not go see that man do you hear me."

Jane pushed Maura's hands away and stood up. "What am I suppose to do Maur, I need answers, we need answers." Jane said gesturing to her and Maura.

Maura stood up in front of Jane. "Jane listen to me I know you need answers and so do I, but this man can't be trusted."

"Maura than help me figure something out, cause with out talking to him I don't see how were going to get any."

"That may not be true."

"What are you talking about." Jane asked

"You had a storage unit."

"Annnd?" Jane asked impatiently

"Who's interrupting now." Maura said

"Really." Jane said with her arms crossed

"Okay, well you had a storage unit when we were married. It was for all the items from your apartment I would not permit you to move in."

"Maura, you made me keep my things in a storage locker." Jane said with a glare

"I most definitely did not, You suggested it. I just did not disagree." Maura said with a sheepish smile

"Ok, so go on." Jane said

"About a month ago a bill came here for the unit, so you must still have it. I think maybe we should look there, you may have put any information in regards to my father in there."

Jane looked at Maura with a growing smile. "You know, you're pretty smart."

"So I have been told." Maura said with a smile of her own.

Jane sat back down with Maura following. They both just stared into the fireplace, both contemplating what to say next. Each of there conversations ended up being a roller coaster of emotions. Neither wanted to be the first to spoil the quiet happiness they ended with. Jane kept thinking of how wonderful it would be to have just lived a life with Maura without all this drama.

Maura sighed and turned to look at Jane "Is there anything else you can remember now that we have talked about it?"

Jane did not look at Maura "No, It's like a word that's on the tip of your tongue, and you now it's there but you just can't for the life of you remember."

"It will come Jane, give your self time." Maura said

Jane growled and threw her head back into the cushions. " God, I'm such a headcase. I finally get the girl and I find a way to destroy it."

Maura turned her head to look over her shoulder at Jane. " Jane on this I don't believe that you had much of a choice as you said. I know I seemed upset, but it wasn't the fact that you became a CI but that you are a CI for Paddy. As for some of your other choices in our marriage well, that can't be explained."

Maura sat Back and was staring at Jane when Jane looked at her and asked a question that has been on her mind a lot.

"Our marriage, wow."Jane said

"Yes a lot to take in when you can't recall it happening." Maura said unaware of what Jane was planning

"You introduced yourself as Mrs. Rizzoli."

"Excuse me?" Maura said rather confused like.

"In the hospital you introduced yourself as Mrs. Rizzoli to the doc." Jane said as she began to play with Maura's empty ring finger on her left hand.

"Yes and your point?" Maura asked with a knowing panic growing inside her.

"Shouldn't you be wearing a ring on this finger_ Mrs._ Rizzoli?" Jane asked with a glare

"Wh..what why...would I, I mean you don't" Maura stammered

Jane sat upright " Come on Maura they'll see your hives from the moon if you continue to lie."

Maura placed her hands over her face and sighed "Alright you got me we are still married." She said in a muffled tone

"You wanna say that again, and this time without the hands." Jane demanded

Maura uncovered her face and slowly sat up turning to look at Jane. " We are still married, I never signed the divorce papers."

"You what? why not, why would you not sign something that you wanted." Jane said in a less threatening manner

"I never wanted a divorce, don't you dare say that. You gave me no other option." Maura said as she now stood up and paced the living room floor.

Jane immediately regretted the words when she saw Maura's reaction. Why does she keep doing this to her she thought, there's only so much pain one can take. Jane sat a little closer to the edge of the couch watching Maura pace. Jane was trying to figure out a way to keep her anger out of this conversation, seeing as she has no idea what went on in their marriage. Who is she to judge something she knows nothing about.

"Maura I'm sorry. Please, just come sit down."

Maura stopped pacing and looked over at Jane, she could see the pleading in her eyes. She walked over to the couch and sat down, but never looking at Jane as she was both embarrassed and infuriated.

"I shouldn't of said that Maur, I have no right to comment on the matter."

"Thank you. I wish you did though, I wish you remembered. It's so hard to mad at you, you hurt me so much. I try to tell myself that your judgment was impaired due to the tumor but I, I just can't sometimes. There are moments when all I wanted to do is just scream and hurt you as much as you hurt me, but what good would that do cause you don't know why I'm yelling at you." Maura said with new tears threatening to appear

"Oh Maur, it doesn't matter if I know why. You will and that's all that matters to me now. Fixing the pain that sits in your heart, where love should be, that's what matters to 's all that matters to me, now and forever."

Maura lost the battle with the tears in her eyes after she heard those words, she began to sob. Jane pulled her into a hug, holding onto her. They sat that way, clutched to each other for what seemed like for ever, until Jane's phone rang.

"Sorry." Jane said as she pulled away.

"No, it's okay it may be Angela." Maura said wiping at her eyes once more.

"Hello...Yeah okay, can't wait...no I'm fine ma, really...yes, see you soon."

"It was my mother, she's heading back with the kids and dinner now." Jane told Maura

"I better get cleaned up." Maura said as she stood from the couch

Jane grabbed Maura's hand and looked up into her eye's. " I'd really like to continue this conversation."

Maura smiled down at Jane "I would like that."


	17. Chapter 17

**A/n So the story shall continue as is Thanks to your great reviews.**  
**I have to apologize in the coming chapters you will her lieutenant Korsak but in chapter 3 he was referred to as captain. That is because as I said I had a different plan for this story. Hope you enjoy, short chapter but much lighter.  
**

**Chapte****r**** 17**

Jane sat with her fingers pressed into her temples trying in vain to fight off the approaching headache that was being to consume her attention so much so that she hadn't heard her mother and the twins come home. That was until they both jumped on her causing a puff of air to pass her lips. She had to smile at their boisterous laughs even though she was in pain, not only from the headache but also the bruising in her ribs.

"Ma are you excited to see us?" Bella asked.

"Of course I am, I missed you so, so much!" Jane said with a smile.

"Ma you missed the fun again." Jack said.

"I did, I'm sorry. Nonna is a lot of fun Huh." Jane said while winking at Angela.

"It's ok you can come next time, right?" Bella asked

"Of course I will. How bout we all have dinner together every night this week.  
does that sound good?" Jane asked both children looking back and forth between them.

"Cool." Bella yelled.

"Awesome." Jack yelled simultaneously.

"What are we yelling about, inside none the less." Maura asked as she returned to living room appearing refreshed, but Jane could notice the redness in her eyes from crying.

"I was just telling the kids I'd like to have dinner together as a family every night this week. All of us Ma, Korsak, and Frankie too, when he gets here of course."

Both Angela and Maura glanced at each other with confusion. Jane noticed it of course, but chalked it up to them just being shocked that she wanted to spend that much time with her family. Jane also noticed Maura looking warily at her.

"Okay children let's go get cleaned up for dinner shall we." Maura said with an outstretched arm as if she was showing the kids the way.

Bella kissed Jane on the cheek and ran off to wash up, Jack on the other hand sat defiantly on the couch. Jane looked down at him and than up at Maura noticing the deflated look in her eyes. Jane nudged Jack with her elbow, encouraging him to do as he was asked. He never even looked up at her he just folded his arms and huffed. Jane looked to Maura for an answer as to why the boy was being so defiant, but what she saw made her chuckle. There Maura stood with her arms crossed looking exactly like Jack, the same features and all. Jack was the spitting image of Maura same dirty blond hair, same green eyes,and wait a minute... Jack looks exactly like Maura and Bella looks exactly like her she thought.

Jane was told a lot about them in the hospital but she was never told, and never asked for that matter how the twins were conceived. Now that she thought about it they must have used one of Jane's eggs and one of Maura's. This made her smile from ear to ear, to know she had kids was one thing, but to know you have biological kids is another. She would love them both equally there is no doubt about that, but be able to look into a child's eyes and see your own staring back is amazing she thought.

"Jane...Jane Rizzoli." Maura demanded

"Hmm...Oh, yeah what's up." Jane said with a chuckle, embarrassed to be caught in thought.

Maura glared at Jane. "Could you please not make light of our son's defiance."

Jane elbowed Jackson lightly. " Hey kiddo, please go clean up."

Jackson got up slowly and walked even slower to the bathroom eliciting another chuckle from Jane which she tried to cover up with her hand over her mouth. Maura just continued her glare at Jane, causing Jane to stop.

Maura made her way over to Jane. " I'm not sure what about this situation you find so funny, but I'd appreciate it if you could not laugh while our son is being difficult, especially towards me."

Jane sat up a little straighter smiling at Maura. " I'm sorry it's just hard not to laugh when _our _son who looks so much like you, acts so much like me, Weird huh."

"What?" Maura asked

"Oh nothing it's just something I noticed. Just like I noticed that Bella acts just like you, but looks just, like, me!" Jane said while leaning forward.

Maura sat down on the couch with a thud not looking at Jane. " How...how did you."

Jane cut Maura off. "It doesn't take a genius Maur, there both exact copies of us. In all of our conversations why didn't you tell me?"

Maura finally looked at Jane, her eyes swam with tears. "I did not say anything because I was worried."

"Worried about what?" Jane asked now sitting close to Maura holding her hand.

"When you were in the hospital you had multiple episodes of syncope, and a seizure all of which were brought on by stressful situations. I was afraid of causing another by telling you, you didn't handle it so well the first time." Maura said, a tear escaping her eye.

Jane wiped the tear from her cheek. "Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. Why?"

"We tried for a very long time to get pregnant. One of our options was to use your eggs, but you changed your mind after the procedure to remove your eggs. You said you didn't want a child with your genes that you were damaged goods. I tried to change your mind, But you wouldn't have it. So I went behind your back and used one of your eggs and one of mine for our last try. It worked and you were less than happy when you found out what I did."

"Oh Maura, I'm sorry I put you in the position. You shouldn't have gone behind my back though, there had to be some way we could have worked it out." Jane said as she enveloped Maura in a hug.

"I'm sorry Jane, I was just so desperate to get pregnant. It was our last chance to so I used both eggs to give us better odds. Please forgive me." Maura said.

"Sweetie of course I forgive you, of course." Jane said while rubbing circles on Maura's back.

Angela watched this whole scene play out and she was in amazement at what took place. Her Jane the Jane that she remembered was nothing like the one she saw before her. Jane was loving and tender with Maura, she took the time to find out why she was upset. She didn't jump to conclusions without waiting for answers. She reminded her of the Jane of old days, the one she'd do anything for. She was in awe of how much Jane had changed. she walked over to the two sitting behind Jane and wrapping her arms around the two. This caused all three to laugh. Jane released Maura and hugged her mother telling her that she loved her.

Both kids were now standing at the entrance to the living room. "Adults are so weird." Jack said

"Oh yeah wait till I get my hands on you two." Jane said while jumping up from her seat and running after the twins.

Both children laughed and screamed trying in vain to run from Jane. She quickly caught them and they all fell to the floor as she tickled each one. Maura and Angela looked on, laughing themselves.

"She's back." Angela said while hugging Maura from behind.

"She is" Maura said with a smile.

Okay kids, that includes you Jane. Lets eat." Angela said as she walked towards the kitchen.

Maura walked up to Jane who now stood wrapping her arms around Maura's waist. She kissed her tenderly on the lips. "What was that for." Jane asked.

"For coming back to me." Maura said with another kiss.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N SHORT CHAPTER**

**Chapter 18**

"Wow that was a great meal Ma, you outdid yourself." Jane said while standing to help remove the dishes.

"Jane please stop, go sit with your children. Maura and I'll take care of this." Angela said while she cleared the table.

Jane walked over to her mother and kissed her on the cheek. "Thank's ma." Jane held on to Angela for a little while before she walked in to the living room to be with the twins. The children were fighting over the remote, Jack wanted to watch baseball, and Bella wanted to watch a cartoon that even Jane didn't understand.

"Ok you two stop fighting, I'm sure we can solve this." Jane said with a smile

Both children started in on Jane, giving all the reasons as to why they should be the one to choose. Jane never really saw her self as very maternal so she was at a loss for what to do. Both children were almost yelling trying to be heard over the other. Her headache was getting worse by the minute. Jane reached up to press the tips of her fingers to her temples, She swayed a little as well. Jane had her eye's closed so she hadn't noticed Bella leave. When she sat down on the couch and opened her eye's she was alone and it was quiet.

"Are you ok?" Jack asked

"Geez" Jane jumped she hadn't noticed Jack sitting right next to her.

"Yeah bud I'm fine." she said with her hand on his shoulder.

"Jane are you okay?" Maura asked coming to kneel in between Jane's knees.

"Yeah I'm fine why?" Jane said with what she hoped was a smile conveying that everything was okay.

Maura glared at Jane, she could tell she was in pain,she knew would never admit it though, especially in front of her kids. Maura reached up and placed the back of her hand on Jane's forehead, she than grabbed her wrist feeling her pulse point. After being reassured that Jane was in no immediate danger she relented to Jane's judgement. She looked lovingly in to Jane's eye's asking. "Does your head hurt?"

"Yeah a little, it's no big deal really." Jane said placing her hand over Maura's which was on her knee

"It must be a little more than that if Bela noticed, she came in to the kitchen to get me."

"I just need one of those pills and I'll be ok." Jane said with a weak smile.

Maura got up to get Jane some medicine and water. Bella sat on the other side of Jane, she was now flanked by kids. Jane looked to each of them and sighed. She was going to have to reassure them, after all that's what parent's do, right. Where does she start, she thought. Jane doesn't even know these kids, sure she's met them and talked, but she doesn't really know them. What comforts them, what scares them, what makes their little faces light up with joy. Jane had to learn this all in a matter of days, when Maura got four years to discover all the twins idiosyncrasies, it wasn't fair she thought. None of this was fair, and she was starting to get very angry about it. She could understand why she was mad, but not the amount of anger she felt.

Jane took a couple of deep breath's trying to calm herself down. As if they have a sixth sense towards her, both twins placed their tiny hands on Jane's. This brought tears to her eye's. Jane found herself being comforted by four year olds, why not after all they probably knew her better than Jane know's herself. Maura stood in the doorway to the living room in awe of what she was witnessing. She could feel every emotion Jane was feeling, just by watching Jane's body posture. She saw how calming it was to her to be around the children. Maura had to hold back the tear's, she loved this woman and so did the kids, and they were being robbed of her. This tumor was taking parts of her from them and it pissed Maura off, she vowed right than and there to not let it take any more. She would fight till her last breath.

Jane could feel someone staring, she turned her head looking over her shoulder at Maura. They smiled at each other, both with tears swimming in their beautiful eyes. Maura walked towards Jane handing her the pills and water. She left abruptly, not wanting the twins to see her cry.

Angela saw Maura head towards the guest bathroom crying, she decided to check on her. "Maura, sweetie, are you ok?"

"I'm okay Angela." Maura said trying to hold back the sobs that threatened to break through.

"Oh honey, please talk to me." Angela said through the door.

Angela waited for a bit till she heard the door being unlocked, she opened it to find Maura about to break. Angela stepped in to the bathroom closing the door. She held out her arm's waiting for Maura to come to her, knowing that you can't rush Maura when it comes to being comforted in a crisis. Maura slowly collapsed into her arms sobbing uncontrollably. "I can't lose her, I can't lose Jane. What am I going to do without her." Maura cried

"Shh, she's not going anywhere, not when we just got her back. Shh." Angela said as she rocked Maura rubbing circles on her back. Maura just kept crying, finally letting it all out.

After what seemed like an eternity but was only a few minutes, Maura slowed her crying to a sniffle. She moved away from Angela wiping at the tears that were left on her rosy cheeks. She straightened her clothes and took a deep breath. "Thank you Angela, thank you." Maura said as she grabbed Angela's hands.

"I'm here for you Maura." Angela said

"I appreciate that more than you know." Maura said with her arms wrapped around her waist.

"I know, I know." Angela said as she made her way out of the bathroom.

Maura turned to look at herself in the mirror, what she saw made her sigh. Maura had mascara down both rosy cheeks, eye's red, and shirt stained with tears. She began to wash her face trying to appear less an emotional wreck, more a wife and mother who is prepared for what lies in waiting.

As Maura stepped back into the living room she noticed it was empty, as she looked for clues of there whereabouts she heard giggling coming from upstairs. While she was climbing the stairs to the bedrooms she noticed a light shining through Jack's door that was left slightly ajar. Maura could hear Jane reading the twins a story, but she was using a different voice for each charachter. Maura had to place a hand over her mouth to stiffle the laugh.

"Out of the forest a fierce dragon appereared. Oh brave knight where art though." Jane said using a different voice for each part.

"I don't need a knight to fight a dragon." Bell said while jumping up from the floor that they were all lying on.

"I don't either." Jack said not to be out done.

"Oh yeah well how would you two do against...a, TICKLE MONSTER!" Jane yelled as she attacked both children.

Laughs and screams could be heard throughout the entire home. Maura opened the door watching the scene in front of her made her heart swell with love. It had been far to long without children's laughter in these walls. Jack held Maura responsible for the divorce, he would never blame Jane she's his whole world. She tried explaining that it wasn't anyone's fault that sometimes adults just cant live together anymore, but that doesn't stop the love, it doesn't stop the feelings from being there, it just changes the way they see each other. Jack wouldn't hear of it though, in his eye's Maura took Jane from him. If she loved her she wouldn't do that he would say, If only love were enough she thought.

Maura was so busy in her own musings that she hadn't noticed Jane approach from behind. Jane wrapped her arms around Maura's which were at her side. "Oh no look who I caught, another tickle monster, get her." Jane yelled out

As Maura was being assaulted by tiny little hands doing their best to tickle she laughed. "Payback Jane Rizzoli, you wait!"

Jane whispered in her ear. "Hopefully not to long."

Jane had to hold Maura up as her knees buckled, she laughed at the reaction she caused in Maura. "Uh oh kids I think us tickle monsters have been defeated. Your just to much for us, you win." Jane said as she held up her arms in defeat.

Maura followed suit, she gave Jane a seductive smile and licked her lips. She watched as Jane sucked in her breath. "Two can play" Maura whispered.

"Play what?" Bella asked

"Uh..." Jane was at a loss for words

"Bath time kids." Maura said giggling as Jane stood there flustered.

Maura turned towards Jane and rubbed her hand down Jane's forearm. "Maybe you could use a cold shower."

"Yeah, very cold." Jane said


End file.
